Anywhere
by WhiteRosesHaveBlackThorns
Summary: A collection of random Namiku oneshots...Enjoy! I'll be updating as my will wishes. Agoraphobe readers: Beware. Use of drugs and alcohol. Gorey scenes coming up. Curses. The works. May have to make a few chapters M...
1. Stars

On the summit of a small hill, a boy and a girl rested, watching the night sky with ease.

"Maybe we'll get to see a shooting star," the boy mused. He glanced down at the girl sleeping peacefully in his lap, kissed her cheek, and whispered,

"Found one."

**I know. It's short. Oh well. I didn't intend to do this, but, I decided to. Read the others!**


	2. Waiting

"Maybe waiting for him wasn't such a good idea," the girl said, clutching at her shivering arms and desperately wishing for either her love to come, or for a nice, warm, thick cloak.

"Oh...Where is he?!" she hissed. She felt like the wind was going to either blow her away, or freeze her to death. Suddenly, she felt a pair of warm comforting arms wrapping themselves around her, and leaving a thick black cloak on her shoulders.

"You're here," she mused happily.

"I'm sorry I was late. I had to climb out my window, and even after that, an annoying messenger boy kept following me around," he explained. "But, I'm here now."

"Yes, you're here."

She felt him unwrap his arms, and shivered.

"What's wrong? Does the cloak have a tear?" he asked, searching for any sign of a rip.

"No, that's not it," she said.

"What is it, then?"

"Your arms. They warmed my heart. Now, my heart is cold again."

He grinned, and never let her go again.

**Is it just me, or did the last line come out wrong? Oh well. I meant it as a huge hidden metaphor… Try to find it ^.-**


	3. Secret meanings

Could there have been someone more perfect?

That hair...those eyes...that wonderful, wonderful voice.

"Hello? You there?" a familiar voiced called. I ignored it. I just kept staring...

"Hey, he's gone now, you know."

My head immediately shot up, the talker gaining my attention.

"Whaa...?"

The voice laughed. I suddenly realized who was standing next to me.

"Riku? Since when did you get here?" I asked in a daze. He laughed once more, took my hand, and led me inside the school.

"I've always been here."

…

It was only when I reached my locker when I realized he still hadn't let go of my hand.

"**I" refers to Namine. Obviously, the friend was Riku. And the person she was staring at was Roxas. ^-^ I quite like this one. Another metaphor! Woo! Don't you love those? **


	4. Snowflakes

Y'know, a snowflake is a funny thing. They say that each one is different; not one is exactly the same. I agree, but I look at a different side of it. When I see snowflakes falling, I think of the dancers at a ball. Everyone has a partner. Sure, they're different outside, but on the inside their hearts are identical to the one of the person they're dancing with. They're in love. And if you look past the metaphor, and look really closely at every snowflake you'll ever see, you just might find a pair.

That tells you not how rare true love is, but how rarely others acknowledge it.

**Wrote this this morning. I was waiting to get on, so I decided to write. It's just a paragraph of my thoughts turned into yet ANOTHER metaphor. And somewhat personification, if you look deeply enough in the dancer-snowflake thing. I mean, snowflakes don't usually dance, do they? **


	5. Extraordinary

**Another one! I know what you're thinking: YAYYY! So am I ^-^ RANDOM WRITING MOMENT!**

I stomped over to his house, and banged on his front door with all the might my petite frame possessed.

"Riku!" I called. Shouted. Whichever. "Riku, open the freaking door!"

No Riku.

"RIKU!"

Still no Riku. You can imagine how pissed I was. While I'm shouted my lungs out, and breaking my hand by banging on his door too hard, I'll tell you why exactly I'm doing this.

_Yesterday…_

"_Hey, Namine!" Roxas called, running up to me._

"_What is it, Roxas?" I demanded, slightly annoyed._

"_I heard that Riku was going out with Kairi. So, I figured I might as well give it a try…Will you go out with me?" Roxas answered._

_I froze. Riku wouldn't do that. He just wouldn't. We'd been going out secretly; I know he'd never cheat on me. And cheat on me so openly that Roxas knew about it._

"_Uh, Namine…?"_

"_Huh?"_

"_So, what d'you think?"_

"_I know Riku wouldn't go out with Kairi."_

_With that I turned and ran back to my house. _

Today…

I had planned on doing this the day Roxas told me, but my eyes were swollen up to the point where I couldn't see much when I opened my eyes. Today, the swelling had finally gone down, and so I'm stuck at Riku's doorstep, practically breaking my arm.

With a sigh that seemed more like a huff, I gave up and sat on the doorstep. I pulled my knees close to my chest, and tried not to cry.

"Namine?"

I looked up at the mention of my name, and gasped.

"Namine, what's wrong?" Riku asked, kneeling in front of me. He silently wiped a stray tear away from my cheek, and tucked a bit of my hair behind my ear.

I knew then that I was right. He would never cheat on me, ever. He cared about me; he loved me.

"N-nothing," I lied.

"No angel would waste her tears on nothing. Now, tell me."

I took a deep breath and swallowed. "Roxas told me you were going out with Kairi."

At first, Riku looked shocked. Then he began to laugh.

"He…really…thought…" He took a deep breath. Still chuckling, he said,

"Namine, either Roxas is lying, or he saw Kairi and me at the mall yesterday. She wanted to buy something for Sora, and she dragged me along because apparently, I would know what kind of presents he liked."

I began to laugh along with him as he started again. It really was a funny mistake. But, it made me realize something: Never judge people by the standard. Just because two people are out together, you can't assume they're going out. Especially not the unique ones, like my Riku, because if you compare them to the normal, you'll see they're really quite extraordinary.

**Yay! So, Riku wasn't cheating on Namine, and Roxas is an idiot! :D Isn't that the great happily ever after everyone wants? Anywho, Gabriel inspired me for this one, for his awesome extraordinary-ness, and also Lando, for her somewhat annoying fears. **

**I own no such thing called Kingdom Hearts! 'Tis not mine, nor are any of the characters. BUT, part of their personality is all Emma! ******


	6. A close save

**I was listening to Everyday by Rascal Flatts, and I suddenly felt a surge of emotion, so I decided to use it to write instead of randomly crying :P**

I sprinted down the street as fast as my legs could possibly carry me, and then some. I wove through the traffic, earning myself a few curses and fingers, but not paying any mind to them. No, nothing could distract me. There was a literally a life to lose if I didn't make it on time, and what's worse is that it would be the death of the only girl I'd ever really _loved_.

_Namine._

Just thinking about her made me all the more urgent, made my legs move all the more faster, until _I _was the one passing cars. I couldn't live with myself if I was too late.

"_We're all too late in some way_**."**

That was the last thing she said to me, after I told her it was too late to say sorry and expect me to come back. Now, it was the other way around. I hadn't realized what her words really meant until now, and I'm sure if my mind could focus on anything other than running to save her, I would be beating myself up right now for my stupidity.

Finally, _finally_, after what seemed like forever, I found myself at the front doors of the Twilight Town Newspaper building, the tallest thing in about a 1,000 mile radius. I looked up and squinted with all my might, and saw the outline of a familiar petite figure on the top. I started running again, bursting through the front glass doors, and banged on the elevator button.

Of course, the unobservant imbecile I was, I failed to notice that the elevator was out of order until a man gave me a strange look, opened a door, and started climbing the staircase.

"Dammit!" I growled, kicking the wall. I paid no mind to the new throbbing in my toe, and followed the man up the staircases. I soon surpassed him and a couple of other surprised employees, and kept running until I reached the top floor.

I busted through the door that lead to the roof, climbed up five more steep steps, and finally arrived at my goal.

But, only part of it had been fulfilled.

Namine stood, her back to me, at the edge of the building, peering down at the world below. I ran the next couple of yards separating us, and attempted to catch her arm. However, she had looked over her shoulder at the sound of my footsteps, stared at me with a look of pure agony etched onto her pale face, and started leaning forward.

"No!" I shouted. As she fell, I hooked my arms so that I caught her by the armpits. Her tiny legs squirming, I tugged her onto the roof again, and sat her down.

"You _idiot_!" she seethed, her amazing blue eyes flashing with anger. I knelt down beside her, and pinned her wrists to the ground gently. I said nothing in response, just checked for injuries.

"You should've let me fall! You don't care about me anyway! I'm sure you'd rather see me de-"

I gave her a look that would make the dreaded Furies crawl back into their lowly caves, whimpering with their tails between their legs. I locked her gaze with mine, and whispered firmly,

"I would _never _wish you dead. If I didn't care about you, then why am I here? Why would I risk everything just to save you if I didn't give a damn about you? Tell me that!"

She stared at me wide-eyed, her mouth slightly opened in shock. I went on.

"How could you ever think that I don't care about you?! That I don't love you?! How can there be any doubt in your mind, when I've done _everything_ possibly human to do, and then some?! I-I just don't get that!" I fought against the tears in my eyes, but they flowed anyway. I closed my eyes, and felt her shift beside me, until she wrapped her thin arms around me in a warm, reassuring hug. Neither of us spoke for a while- we didn't need to. There were no words required in this simple, meaningful apology.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I never meant to hurt you. I honestly thought you hated me back the-"

I adjusted my head so that I could catch her gaze again.

"How could I _ever_ hate you?"

Her shoulders sagged and her head hung in a state of silent defeat.

"I'm sorry," she repeated. "I was an idiot."

I took a deep, shuddering breath.

"No. I was the idiot. Don't blame yourself."

"Well I very well can't blame you." She risked a small smile, which I warmly returned.

"Very true. Well, this seems to be quite the dilemma. Whoever can we blame?"

Namine laughed, the sweet sound filling the air.

"So, am I forgiven?" she asked. She slung her arms around my shoulders in piggy-back style, and stared ahead of us. I followed her gaze and silently watched the beautiful sunset a moment before answering her thus:

"As long as I am."

"Can we forget this ever happened?"

"Fine with me. Hello, I'm Riku. What's your name?" I joked, holding out my hand to her. She laughed again.

"I'm Namine. Pleased to meet you."

"Likewise."

**MEH. I didn't know how to end this, so I just did the best I could. I still don't like the ending, but I'll live.**

**Or will I?!?!?!  
*random dramatic music insert here***

**Random person on the street: OH NO! THE WRITING ALIENS FROM WRITOTOPOLIS HAVE COME TO DESTROY US ALL IF WE DO NOT HAVE ACCEPTABLE ENDINGS!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **

**Me:…Eeeeekk….RUN AWAY LITTLE STORY, RUN AWAY! **

**Alien leader: *weird alien noises* **

**Alien translator (yes, aliens have translators, you got a problem with that?!): The King of Writotopolis has declared that anyone who writes poorly will be destroyed. Meaning, WRITE HIM A GOD DAMN GOOD NOVEL OR DIEE!!!!!! **

**...**

***ahem* Sorry for that. I'm having a random streak lately…must be contagious or something…*gives Jeffy a weird look, but shrugs and gives him a cookie*….**

**ANYWHO…Bye! *waves***


	7. I Remember You

**A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in a while. My brother broke my computer -.-. Anyhow, I figured this I owe you guys a new chapter, so here it is!**

It had been so long since I'd last seen her. So many months that I'd lost track long ago. Yet, still I remember everything about her. Her laugh. Her smile. Her magnificent sapphire blue eyes. The horribly painful look on her face when we said goodbye. That last one stuck out in my head like poison mixed with honey.

It would've been selfish if we stayed together, I reminded myself. O had to save Kairi and Namine had to start putting Sora's memories back together.

At least I got to keep mine.

As I walked on through the darkness, I made a silent promise to myself to never ever let Namine go again. That is, if I could find her.

…

_Three months later…_

Kairi, Sora, and I sat on the beach, admiring the sunset. Well, they were. I was a bit too distracted to admire anything.

Yes, everything was back to normal. Yes, Namine had been found and morphed with Kairi. Everyone got their rightful happy ending.

Everyone but me.

"Riku, you awake?" Kairi asked. She waved her hand in front of my face, and I swatted it away. She sighed.

"I'll take that was a 'yes'."

I shrugged. Nobody said anything for a while. Suddenly, I blurted out,

"Kairi, how is Namine?"

Kairi looked at me with an unreadable expression. Her eyes seemed focused on something behind me. A grin spread across her face.

"You ask her."

I looked over my shoulder, and gasped

There, just the same as I remembered her, was Namine.

"Riku!" she shouted. She dropped her notebook and sprinted toward me.

…

**A/N: I like this ending for once! What do you think, alien translator dude?**

**Alien Translator: It's…adequate.**

**Me: Awwwh, c'mon!**

**Alien Translator: I never said it was **_**bad**_**…**

**Me: Still… You implied that it wasn't awesome. **_**That**_**, my dear alien friend, is an insult.**

**Alien Translator: I'll give you a cookie if you suddenly feel honored.**

**Me: DEAL!**


	8. Wedding

**A/N: This is inspired by Gabriel and partially Dawn/Autumn. **

**Dawn, I hope you're very happy with Jake :D**

**Gabe…You just own. GO ZOMBIES!**

***gasp***

**Gabe, L as a zombie!!!!!! O_O That'd be one hell of a zombie…**

…

(Riku's POV)

Evil has a name… Kairi.

I still have no idea how Namine could expect me to be civil to her. I mean, yeah, she's marrying my best friend, but that doesn't obligate me to like her…

Sadly, Namine being my girlfriend and Kairi's sister _does _obligate me to at least tolerate her. Hopefully, she'll just ignore me as usual and gloat in her own pigheadedness. Or perhaps her limo- separate from Sora's- will suddenly break down or explode or something. Or she finds a rip in her dress. That last one would most likely be more effective, since cockroaches don't die in explosions.

"Riku, please behave at Kairi's wedding. This is very important to her. And despite everything, she still deserves a great wedding," Namine whispered to me. She was already in her bridesmaid dress- a silk, ankle-length blue dress that matched her eyes perfectly, with her flaxen hair tied up in a neat bun on top of her head with a butterfly broach with real sapphires. Looking straight into my eyes, she was enchanting. For a moment I was speechless. I nodded slowly. She smiled her beautiful, glowing smile and kissed me on the cheek.

"Thank you. Now, go get in your suit and we'll be off." I groaned. I hated that suit almost as much as I hated Kairi.

"Can't I just wear this?" I asked, gesturing at my normal outfit. Namine pursed her lips slightly.

"Nope, I'm afraid not. Kairi would kill me."

"She didn't even invite me!" I pointed out.

"True, but Sora did. And as a bridesmaid to a best man, it'd be incredibly tacky to appear in normal clothes," Namine said.

"What about from a girlfriend to a boyfriend?"

"Nice try. Now, go get dressed."

"_Fine_," I groaned.

After I was dressed in my immensely stiff suit that cost more than my car and made me look like a *penguin, Namine locked up the apartment we were living in, and we entered the limo. Every guest who received an invitation was offered an individual limo, but Namine and I decided to ride together. It would be easier.

"Promise me you won't screw Kairi's wedding up?" Namine asked.

"I promise."

"Honest to the gods? Swear on your life?"

"Yes, I promise! Jeez. Are you expecting me to blow the whole place up or something?"

"Sorry," Namine apologized, "but I need to make sure." She narrowed her eyes. "You _aren't _going to blow the church up, are you?"

"_Namine!_"

"Okay, okay, I'll stop. It's just… This is really important to her, you know?"

I sighed. "Yes, I know. I won't mess it up. I won't even say a word, besides 'I have the ring'."

"Which reminds me, may I see said ring?" Namine asked. I nodded, and reached in my pocket for it. I nearly panicked and thought I lost it when I remembered it was in the otherpocket. I took out the little blue box and handed it to Namine. She took out the ring with delicate pale fingers, and admired it.

"_Together always_," she read. "So sweet…" She slipped the ring on her finger, and smiled softly.

"When we get married- I mean, if we get married, I want a ring like this," she corrected herself. The *_other _ring in my pocket suddenly weighed a ton. Namine put the ring in its box and handed it back to me. I was going to say something, but was interrupted by the driver opening the limo door. Namine stepped out (_how _does she balance in those heels?!) and I followed, taking her hand.

"Think I'll pass the bomb detector?" I whispered. She smiled.

"I was just kidding, you know."

"I know," I said, winking. She looked surprised for a second, and I kissed her cheek.

"Hah. Got ya."

Before she could respond, Kairi walked over to us with Sora at her side like a devoted puppy dog.

"Nami!" Kairi squealed, hugging Namine as much as she could without her red hair screwing up.

"Hey! You look beautiful, Kairi!" Namine complimented. Kairi grinned.

"I know."

"Uhh, Kai, I'll be over there," Sora said, looking a little uncomfortable. He gave me a look that said _Help Me_. I followed him away from Namine and Kairi.

"What's up, Sora?" I asked. He was sweating buckets. I was surprised his suit didn't look like it had just come out of the washer.

"What's up? Oh, nothing much, just getting married," Sora said, shaking.

"Seriously, dude. Either it's hotter in here than I thought, or you have a case of cold feet."

"I don't have cold feet! I'm just… nervous."

"That's cold feet."

"Is not!"

I sighed. "Whatever you say, man. So, you all set to marry Kairi?"

"Uhmm…A-Actually, n-n-o. I-I guess I am h-having second t-t-thoughts," Sora admitted.

I was faced with a decision. Either I could talk Sora into not marrying Kairi (which would break her heart, and cause Namine to be her shoulder to cry on), or I could encourage him to marry her, as planned.

And…As much as I hated Kairi, I didn't want her to be _that _unhappy. She _was _probably going to be my *sister-in-law someday.

"Sora, you love Kairi, right?"

"Of course I do!"

"And she loves you?"

"Yes!"

"Then… I don't see the problem. Dude, just forget all your fears. Forget everything except for your vows and the fact that Kairi is _yours._ You finally get the girl of your dreams. Just focus on _her_, nothing else, and you'll be fine," I told him. Sora looked at me gratefully, and then strangely.

"You sound like you've been married before."

I smiled. "Let's just say *Namine's going to be the one to catch the bouquet."

"Congrats, dude! Oh, and thanks for the advice. I almost ditched. But you got my confidence up." Sora smiled his big goofy grin, and went back to Kairi.

I smiled in satisfaction. Now, Namine had nothing on me about hating Kairi.

…

_One wedding reception later…_

"Okay everyone! Time to throw the bouquet!" Kairi called. Every unmarried woman there (including my Namine) waited anxiously, staring longingly at Kairi's bouquet of white roses.

"Ready? 3…2…1!" Kairi threw the flowers over her shoulder to the crowd of women. After a moment of confusion, I looked to see who caught it.

Standing in the middle of the crowd with a look of surprise on her face, *Namine held the roses.

…

**A/N: **

**The first *= Gabe, remember Riku the Penguin? XD I just HAD to fit that in somewhere…**

**The rest of the *= DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY IT?!?! **

**Okay, I'll say it anyway. **

**RIKU WAS PLANNING ON PROPOSING TO NAMINE! **

**I couldn't help myself from adding that in. It was too sweet. I **_**may **_**write one for their wedding, only I'll make it a separate story. And, just a hint, it'll be a total disaster *wicked grin***

**Kidding! It'll only **_**seem **_**that way…See?! I already have the plans in my head. Now I only need someone to tell me to write it. **

**Review please! I love to know that people read my stories!**

**And to you wicked cool people who already do (LarkaSpirit, TheMagicalTapeworm, andpaopucheesecakes, everypatchofdarknesshasitslight, and whomever else I may have missed) thank you for staying with me this far. You guys make up my favorite authors list, and I'm honored you even read my stories :D**

**PEACE OUT, PEEPS! **


	9. Drawings

**A/N: NEW ONE-SHOT! **

…

I sat there, absorbed in my drawing.

Nothing could distract me. The world could've blown up around me, and I wouldn't have noticed.

I was making another copy of the portrait I'd painted when I was four or five. It was of a young boy, about my age when I'd made my first draft nearly ten years ago. He had unusual silver air, pale-as-ivory skin, and the most beautiful aqua blue eyes.

Believe it or not, I'd spent the first four years of drafting mixing the right colors to achieve the magnificent hue of his eyes. Now, I was trying to make everything absolutely perfect. This was my last draft.

All that was left was to color his eyes. My breath caught in my throat. I couldn't mess this up, no matter what.

I took my hand-made crayon, still new, never used, and carefully colored in his eyes.

Done. I'd finished! The most beautiful picture I'd ever drawn before was _done_! After ten years of drafting, _I. Was. DONE!_

I heard a footstep behind me. I turned around, and saw an older version of the boy in my picture. I gasped.

I suddenly remembered why I started the drawing in the first place:

To give to him when I found him again.

The boy smiled and held his hand out to me.

"Hello," he said. "I'm Riku."

…

**A/N: Okay, here's the prehistory:**

**When Namine and Riku were five, they met in the woods. They stayed there till it was dark out. A bear came, and Riku protected Namine against it. To repay him, Namine promised to draw a flawless portrait of him, and give it to him when they met again.**

**That clear everything up?**

**Awesome. Now, for some sleep…**

**(I write these at midnight)**


	10. Dancing in the Rain

**A/N: I was listening to Concrete Angel and I got inspired. This one might be a little depressing, but I'll try to give it a happy ending :]**

…

Namine sat at her window sill, crying for what seemed the millionth day in a row. It was raining, and if you looked at Namine through the window, you would've thought that the rain had leaked onto her face.

_It was raining when Riku ran away…_

*_Flashback*_

_Namine was horrified by the screams of pain coming from the house across from her. She knew them well, but she always had nightmares from them. They scared her. Not for her own safety- for Riku's. Namine loved Riku with everything she had and he loved her too. But every night his mother beat him until he could barely walk the rest of the way to his bed. Every morning, Riku would drag himself over to Namine's house so she could heal him. One morning, it was so bad that Riku had to stay at Namine's house a whole day to heal properly. Wincing in pain, Riku blurted out,_

"_Namine, I'm sorry, but I have to run away. If I stay here, I'll be dead in a week. The beatings are getting worse every night."_

_That scared Namine. She didn't want Riku to leave her there. She'd go insane without him._

"_No! You can't! You have to stay here with me; at least take me with you!" Namine begged. Riku shook his head solemnly._

"_I can't. I'd be putting you at risk, and if my mother found out that we left together, she'd hurt you too. I couldn't live with myself if I let that happen."_

_Namine had no response. She kept dabbing at Riku's wounds until they were completely healed. _

_The next morning Riku came by with a sack slung over his shoulder. He wincing a bit, but he could walk. Namine ushered him into her room, like always._

_As she was healing the new wounds, Namine commented,_

"_You're leaving."_

_It was a statement. Not a question. Riku nodded._

"_Will you be coming back?"_

_Riku was quiet. Namine took that as a no. She sighed._

"_I'll miss you. If you ever decide to come back, remember that I'll always be here for you. You have a home." At the end, Namine's voice choked up. She didn't want Riku to see she was crying. Nonetheless, tears streamed down her cheeks. _

"_Don't cry," Riku murmured, wiping away a stray tear. "I promise I'll be back someday."_

_Someday…_

_That night, it rained harder than ever before._

_*End Flashback*_

"He'll be back," Namine whispered to herself. "Someday."

She gazed out the window, and spotted someone dancing around in the rain. He carried a sack on his shoulder, and Namine could see the moonlight peeking out from behind the clouds glinting on his silver hair.

_Could it be…?_

Namine yanked her window open, and screamed,

"Riku?!"

The figure dancing in the rain stopped, and looked up at the window. Namine could see a grin growing across his face.

"Namine! Namine, I'm back!" Riku shouted. He ran up to her house and started climbing the ivy that reached to her room. Namine laughed.

"Stay there! I'll be right down!"

Namine raced down the staircases two at a time, narrowly missed crashing into an expensive vase her mother had, and pulled open the door. She ran into the rain, and into Riku's waiting warm arms.

"You're back!" Namine sobbed. Riku kissed her forehead.

"I said I'd be back someday, didn't I?"  
"Well, yes, but…I was starting to wonder," she admitted.

"I'm sorry," Riku apologized.

"That doesn't matter now. You're here."

"And I'll never leave again," he promised.

…

**A/N: This made even **_**me **_**go AWWWWH! I got this idea from a really depressing story I once wrote. I might post it, if I ever get done with it. **

**IF…**


	11. Letters

**A/N: EPIPHANY!!! Gods, I love those things!!! **

**Once again for my Gabriel. Try to guess the epiphany. I'll give ya three guesses :D**

…

True love isn't something to take for granted.

At one point in time, everyone thinks they've found it.

The sad thing is that they're often wrong.

This time, I am absolutely _convinced _that I'm right.

I'd been in love before, but never like this.

Those guys didn't know me. Not like you do.

So, I'd just like to say this:

I love you. And I thank you for being true to me.

Love, Namine

…

**A/N: One of my shorter ones…Oh well! I like it anyway. Last time I had an epiphany, I went into a huge angst stage that I didn't get out of for a month. Be happy I'm not in an extremely fluffy stage! **


	12. Falling

**A/N: Why am I writing this? Because I feel like it! **

…

She was falling. Falling so fast she should've reached the ground by now, but she doesn't.

She didn't jump.

She wasn't pushed.

She was just…falling.

The farther down she got, the happier she was. She was still denying something, though, and it was holding her back. Like it was a parachute.

A parachute she didn't want.

Slowly, that parachute started to disappear, until it was no more.

Then she hit the water. It was the greatest bliss she ever felt, and she knew she wouldn't have to enjoy it below.

His hand was still clutched onto hers.

…

**A/N: There're two possible meanings for this:**

**The one I don't mean: she committed suicide with Riku. **

**The one I mean: She was falling **_**in love**_** with Riku, but she kept on resisting, until she just accepted it and found she was very happy with him.**

**Doesn't the second one seem so much nicer?**


	13. All my Loving

**A/N: WOO! NUMBER 13! I'M ON A ROLL TODAY!!! :D (13 is one of my lucky numbers…)**

**Coldplay is the best inspirational music EVA for romance. If you have not listened to it, I suggest you do. It rocks!**

…

_Close your eyes and I'll kiss ya…_

Riku kissed Namine softly on the lips before he boarded the train.

_Tomorrow I'll miss ya…_

He couldn't bare the thought of a day without her. Alas, he was forced to. He sulked in his seat and stared out the window at the moving landscape, daydreaming.

_And remember I'll always be true…_

He didn't see the faces of the women anymore. Not now that he had found her. She could count on him to always be true, no matter how far apart they were. It was impossible for him to be anything _but _true…

_And then while I'm away, I'll write home everyday, and I'll send all my lovin' to you…_

Riku wished he could be there everyday, saying he loved her. But if that wasn't possible, he'd settle for leaving her a day or two, knowing that she knew he wanted to be there.

Stupid jobs…

_I'll pretend that I'm kissin' the lips I am missin', and hope that my dreams will come true. And then while I'm away, I'll write home everyday, and I'll send all my lovin' to you._

_All my lovin' I will send to you. All my lovin'. Darling, I'll be true. _

He got off the train and headed toward the office his boss worked at.

"Hey, you there!" Someone shouted behind him. Riku looked back, and nearly bumped into a pole. He was too distracted…

_Close your eyes, and I'll kiss ya. Tomorrow I'll miss ya. And remember I'll always be true. And then while I'm away, I'll write home everyday, and I'll send all my lovin' to you. _

_All my lovin', I will send to you. All my lovin' darling I'll be true…_

He was so close to being done…Only seconds left…

"Riku, you are done."

He sprinted out of there as fast as he could…

_All my lovin'! All my lovin', I will send to you!_

And finally embraced his loving wife again.

…

**A/N: Er…wow…I didn't expect a songfic! Odd….I like it! Bye!**

**Using the wise words of LarkaSpirit, ALL FLAMES WILL BE USED TO BURN UNSATISFACTORY TOAST! :D**

**(Yes, I do know the rules. Do I intend to comply with them? Not always!)**


	14. Artist's block

**A/N:…Oh. My. Shizzle.**

**SO EFFING LONG!!! ;__; I am SERIOUSLY sorry that I seem to have taken a…three-week break? Meh. I've gotten writers' block again…The best thing I've written is an epic poem about writers' block…**

**Y'know what??! I'll use that! Namiku style. Muhahahaha.**

…

I gripped the coloring pencil in my hand tigher. I felt it snap. Enfused with anger and frustration, I threw the now-useless pencil shard over my shoulder and picked out another one.

"What was that for?" Riku asked, his voice jokingly indignant. I turned around. He was dressed in the usual black-cloak-and-hood outfit, and was leaning against the doorway. I saw my discarded pencil shards in his gloved hand.

"Sorry. Didn't see you," I mumbled. I know he heard me anyway. He strolled over to where I sat, pulled down his hood, and glanced at the blank notebook page before me.

"No inspiration?" he asked. I nodded sullenly. He smirked.

"How about drawing me?"

"Alright then. Sit there. No, not there, _there_. Good. Now, don't move," I instructed. I picked up my black drawing pencil and began on the outline of Riku's face.

"So, what's been up?" Riku inquired.

"Nothing, really," I answered, only looking up from my drawing to check how to sketch the lines of his jaw. He raised an eyebrow.

"_Nothing_? Absolutely _nothing _has been going on?"

"Well nothing interesting."

"That doesn't count as nothing. Tell me every little detail, interesting or not."

I sighed. "Well, yesterday there was a squirrel on my window ledge, so I decided to draw that. I'm surprised it actually stood still. And then after I finished that, I went to the library and found a robin's nest on top of one of the shelves."

"Really?" Riku looked genuinely interested. A small smile grew on my face as I continued drawing.

"M-hm. There were four eggs in the nest. One of them was broken but the others were fine. I think their mother was chased out of the mansion."

"What d'you plan to do with the other three?"

"I have no clue. I might wait till they hatch and then set the nest (with them in it, of course) out in the woods…Can you come a little bit closer?"

"Alright," Riku said. He picked his chair up and moved it closer until it was about a yard away from me.

"No, closer. I need to see your eyes." Riku moved even closer and leaned forward. I gulped, trying to smother the blush crawling up my neck. He smirked.

"This close enough?" he said, teasing me. I nodded, suddenly shy, and began to color his eyes. It took a while to mix the right colors, but I managed to get it pretty close.

"Done."

"May I see?"

I looked up and immediately lost myself in his eyes. It was easier to resist when I was mainly concentrated on something else, but when he was staring at me like that…It was impossible to resist, even more so to want to. He looked just about as lost in my eyes as I was in his. I moved ever-so-slowly closer to him, and he was just about to close the space between our lips when reality came back to me. I drew back, and, blushing madly, handed him the picture.

"It's…wow." Riku was still a bit red from our previous proximity, but now he was completely focused on the picture. He looked slightly breathless.

"You like it?" He nodded, and handed the picture back to me.

"You should offer to draw portraits and sell them," he suggested.

"Nah. Drawing for work would just make it less fun."

"If you say so…" Riku glanced out the window. "I should get going." He got up to leave.

"Wait," I bit my lip. "Will you be back tomorrow?"

Riku smiled. "Of course." He bent down and quickly kissed me on the cheek.

"Till tomorrow." With that, he shut the door, leaving me very red and suddenly very inspired.

…

**A/N: Not bad for a oneshot about writers'/artists' block, eh? I like it myself…though it took forever cause SOMEONE *cough* Allison and Gabe *cough* kept on distracting me. Meh. Merry Christmas, Happy Hallow's Eve, world peace and all that jazz. See ya later cool cats.**


	15. Early Sunsets over Monroeville

**A/N: I got Word installed (finally) after my mum slit the computer, so I'm typing a one-shot I wrote a couple of days ago. Namine is the angel. Roxy (Roxas) can be the demon, but I'm open for Marluxia or Xemnas. Riku is the lover. Cloud is the father. And, finally, Tifa is the mother. I hope it doesn't suck too much…**

…

The angel, dressed in white, walked down the aisle slowly.

The Demon, dressed in black, watched her with hungry eyes.

The lover, hidden from the crowd, longing to protect the angel and kill the demon.

The mother, armed with handkerchief and tissue box, saw her daughter walk towards the man in black, unaware of his true monstrous nature.

The father, blinded by lies, silently argued with the lover's appearance.

"We are gathered here today…" began the priest, "to join these two in holy matrimony. If any present objects, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Silence filled the room with stale air and unspoken doubts. The demon smirked inside.

"Very well," the priest almost sighed. "Do you take each other as your lawfully wedded partner in life, till death do you part?"

"I do," the demon almost purred.

The angel glanced around the room.

At the lover, trying his hardest not to intervene.

At the mother, drying her eyes and blowing her nose.

At the father, giving death glares at the lover and proud beams at the demon.

And finally at the demon himself, smiling at his near success.

"I do," she uttered.

"You may now kiss the bride."

*****

The angel, dressed in her finest and placed in a coffin.

The lover, holding her snow-white hand one last time.

The mother, dressed in black, crying and leaning against her husband for support.

The father, also dressed in black, comforting his wife and keeping his own tears at bay.

And the demon, a knife in his hand and a smile on his face as he trudged down the road to meet his next victim.

_Be careful who you marry…_

_Know him, love him…_

_And make sure he does the same…_

_For, you never know…_

_He could be your demon._

…

**A/N: I like this. The title is what it is because that's a song by My Chemical Romance that I was (am) listening to, and it's doesn't really perfectly **_**fit **_**it but if you listen to it while reading this then it might make a connection…I'm going to stop rambling now…**

**I don't own the song Early Sunsets over Monroeville. I do own the idea for this fanfic. **


	16. lie

What do I care if you're not here?  
It's not the end of the world.

(lie)

I hate you.

I don't know why I ever loved you.

(lie)

I… I don't know what to say.

(lie)

I want to stop hurting

(…)

I don't care

(lie)

I love you

(truth)


	17. A New Record

**A/N: Wow. I haven't written in so long. I missed it, too. I wrote this last night, so it probably sucks, but whatever. **

Cold and lonely.

Lonely and cold.

Two words to describe how she always felt.

Two words she could never say.

As a child, she'd often complained.

Well, there's always a breaking point.

At first, it was a slap across the cheek.

One "Mommy, I'm cold," was all it took that day.

She didn't learn.

The complaining went on and on, until her mother snapped again, shoved her around, hit her upside the head and threw her into a closet for a full twenty-four hours.

She was five.

From then on, she didn't speak unless spoken to.

And in the rare event of her tongue slipping,

It was another slap

Another kick

Another punch.

But what stole her life was no complaint.

"Mom, I'm pregnant."

Four shot wounds. One in the head, three in the womb.

She and her unborn child were killed that day.

And her mother hung dead from the ceiling the day after.

_Oh, how fear doth steal the words from her tongue, _

_For a lifetime and one._

_When the fatal wound_

_Was shot in her immortal womb,_

_Fear hath done its job right._

_Three lives in one night._

_A new record._

**A/N: I don't know how I feel about this yet. Riku is hidden in this chapter, but it's still technically Namiku. I suppose her mom could be anyone. And, of course, the main character is Namine. **


	18. Beacon

Everyone said I was the stupidest person in the world

May I was.

But I meant what I said, and I said what I meant.

I didn't need a light to guide me.

Darkness is the only thing I knew before her, the only thing that accepted me.

And when she came, the darkness fled and she was a new force, like I was a lost ship in a stormy sea and she was the only lit beacon for miles.

I should've turned around.

But I didn't. I docked for refuge, not ever imagining myself capable of that silly little emotion called love.

Emotions are an illusion. And love is what dupes us all.

Even me.

Sure, it was fine for a while.

But then it soured.

"_It's him or me."_

She had to choose between me staying and her friend joining our little circle.

She chose the friend.

And the light that guided me blinked out

As I sunk in my own ocean.

**A/N: I got randomly inspired after reading some old conversations that I'd saved…**

**I quoted him in here. I wonder if he'll remember…**

**Probably not, though.**

**Riku's thoughts. Namine is the girl he's talking about. And the other guy/friend/thing can be whoever you want him to be.**


	19. Memories

How could he explain what he felt?

It was a terrible, terrible ache, like he was missing something dreadfully important, when he knew the real reason it was there was because of a new memory.

He thought he'd forgotten all of his memories. And he had. Except, of course, of the basic ones, like talking and reading and attempting to express feelings…

Slowly, one by one, fragments of his life came drifting back to him.

First, it was the happy times. Learning to ride a bike. Falling in love. Seeing his child for the first time.

Then, as the happy memories wore out, the Others began.

War. Hunger. Death. Hatred. Failure. All of these emotions were rushing back to him, held inside many painful and morose memories that held up his life.

His head felt like it was clogged up, like someone'd stuffed a napkin inside his head. Or like there was really nothing at all, just hot air.

The last memory he ever received was the worst.

A soldier, just seeing his best friend murdered before his eyes in the call of duty, and not even past the denial stage yet, he learned that his wife and children had died in a house fire, set by a cigarette not properly put out catching flame in the ivy that hugged the house's large frame and seemed to keep it together.

The nurse came in. He put a cold, clammy, shaky hand on her tanned arm and asked for a syringe, loaded, please.

At first, the nurse thought to decline; no patient could ever be allowed suicide. But then she looked him right in the eyes, and it was if she was seeing past his eyes, into his memories, and, for a moment, she even felt all the emotions he'd felt all at once. She broke his gaze and handed him the syringe. He injected it himself.

Five minutes later, he lay dead on the hospital bed, all of his newly-retained memories lost in the fabric of forever.

**A/N: I'm really on a writing streak today…**

**Well, this was a snippet I'd written a while ago, and I really wanted to post it. I guess this can be used to compensate for A New Record, being in Riku's perspective and Namine just being hinted at. But meh. I love this one.**


	20. Stages of Love

**FRIENDSHIP**

_Namine had always been his best friend, ever since they were little kids…_

KINDERGARDEN, TWILIGHT TOWN ELEMENTARY

"Riku, what are you doing?" a six-year-old Kairi inquired.

"That girl left her drawing pad," he responded, gripping the tan notebook tightly.

"Who, her?" Kairi asked, gesturing toward a five-year-old Namine.

"Yeah."  
"Why? She's a nobody." **(No pun intended)**

Riku shrugged. "She must want her notebook."

"Whatever."

Riku walked across the room toward Namine.

"Ahem," he coughed. Namine whipped her head around from the picture she was drawing, saw who it was, and scowled.

"What do _you _want?"

"I wanted to return your notebook. You left it on the playground," Riku answered calmly. He handed her the book.

"Oh. Thank you," she said, blushing. "Need some crayons?" she offered. "I have the 64 pack."

Riku smiled.

"Sure."

_From that day on, they were always the best of friends._

**HUG**

_The first hug they'd ever shared was in second grade, Valentine's Day._

"Aw, thanks Riku!" Namine said, beaming as she tried on the necklace. It had a thin silver chain with a small golden star hanging from it like a charm.

Riku stood behind her and took the clasps from her hands and did it himself. She turned around so she was facing me, and gave him a big hug that left them both blushing when she let go.

**KISS**

_Seventh grade, outside Namine's house_

"Riku…I had the time of my life tonight," Namine told him, blushing and staring at the floor. Earlier, the two had been on their first date to a traveling carnival.

"Me too," Riku responded, grinning. He took her chin in his hands and tilted her head up till their eyes met, and he gave her a kiss neither would ever forget…

**LOVE**

_Senior year, ice-skating rink_

Their love had blossomed as each day passed, building up until, finally, Riku couldn't take it anymore.

"Nami, will you marry me?"

She looked up when tying her skates, surprised, until her mind caught up and she could answer.

"Yes."

**MARRIAGE…and then on**

_Both 23, Twilight Town Hospital_

As his wife's screams echoed through the building, Riku resisted the urge to bust into the room and thought over their life together…

The wedding had been small, with just a few people in attendance. Kairi (now Nami's best friend and wedding planner) had wanted a huge wedding for them, but since a high school student's budget wouldn't allow that, they'd settled with something cheaper. Still, Namine'd taken Riku's breath away when she'd strolled down the aisle in her mother's old lace dress.

"Sir," a nurse said, snapping Riku out of his reverie, "you can see them now."

His heart hammering against his chest, Riku opened the door to Namine's hospital room.

She lay on the bed, a sheen of sweat covering her face, random strands of honey-blonde hair sticking to her cheek, holding a small blanketed bundle in her arms.

All the world was drowned out as he heard the baby cry. It was the most precious sound in the world to him. Through the whole nine months, he'd been in a sort of denial. But now, seeing her for the first time, he knew that this was _his _daughter. And he would never let her go.

**A/N: Boo! I wrote this a midnight after getting randomly inspired by the symbols on my notebook I'd drawn to represent the stages of love…Heh. What do you think, dear alien translator friend?**

**Alien translator dude: It's…cute.**

**Me: CUTE? I effing broke my hand writing all this in teeny-tiny cursive!**

**Alien translator dude: Then you shouldn't have written in cursive.**

**Me: Meh. REVIEW! I'll give you a cookie if you do!**

**Alien translator dude: No she won't…**

**Me: SHUT UP!  
**


	21. Agoraphobe part I

"I'm not going outside."

"Why not?"

"It's scary! I could die. Do you know what it's like out there?"

I rolled my eyes at her.

"Don't you think you're being a bit melodramatic?"

"No! You can never be too careful, you know."

I had no idea keeping her cooped up in a castle for a year or two would turn her into an agoraphobe.

Okay, maybe it made sense.

But it still annoyed me endlessly.

"Nami! You _have _to come outside sometime! What happened to the beach? To sea salt ice cream? To _friends_?" I asked. I tried to keep the desperation out of my voice, but I could tell a bit leaked out anyway.

"You're my friend," she stated, as if that would make it better.

"I'm the only one who bothers to come here. Maybe if you went outside you'd make other friends!"

"Pssh. Who needs friends anyway?"

I scowled. She was worse than any little sister.

"Alright, that's it. I'm coming in there."

"No, don-!"

I put my elbow into the door and shoved it open, forcing sunlight onto her face. She hissed.

"For god's sake, you're not a vampire!"

She covered her eyes with her hands. They looked almost florescent in the sunlight, and were tinted with an unhealthy shade of blue.

"Says who?" She still covered her face with her hands, but I could hear her smirk in her voice.

"Says me."

"Well maybe you're wrong."

"Maybe I'm not."

"Whatever. Can you please close the door? I'm getting bits of sunlight behind my eyelids."

I rolled my eyes again- quite the sensation today- and kicked the door shut with my foot.

"Happy now?"

"Yep." She took her hands away from her face. I was stunned.

She was naturally petite, but this was way overboard. She was gaunt, her bones stretching against her pale skin. I could see veins all over her skin, mostly blue. When I put my hand to her cheek she was cold, so cold it almost burned. Her breathing was shallow, too quick. She'd grown at least two inches and her dress billowed around her like a five-year-old trying on her mother's clothes. She was still beautiful, but sickly. Her wonderful, deep blue eyes had sunken a bit back in her head and had lost their natural sparkle. Her once-luscious blonde hair now lay flat and lank on her head. It was horrifying.

"Namine…" My voice sounded very small, like a mouse, but it reverberated around the empty house like a yodeler on a mountain. She hung her head in shame.

"I'm sorry. But I just can't go out there. I'd fall to pieces."

That certainly looked true enough. She'd be no match for Twilight Town's hustle-and-bustle crowds.

But we didn't have to go in a crowd…

"Namine," her head snapped at attention at her name, "when was the last time you saw the sunset?"

She sighed. Her eyes glazed, as if her spirit was Elsewhere.

"A long time ago… I can't even remember what the right colors were. That's why I stopped drawing."

I perked up at the chance. She needed to get outside, whether she wanted to or not.

"How would you like to come with me to see it? I know a hill a little out of the way. No one goes there anymore. It's perfect for watching the sunset."

She hesitated for a moment.

"I… I can't. It's all the way out there," she pointed to the door. "It's scary."

The fear in her eyes made me realize this was a real problem. She looked like a five-year-old who was just told Daddy wasn't coming back. Scared. Lost. Not cowardice; just pure _can't_.

I took her face in my hands- despite her growth, I was still taller- and leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"Nami, you _have _to come out. The world just hasn't been the same without you," I whispered.

She looked up at me. Her lower lip was quivering.

"I'm sorry, Riku…" she whimpered.

"Please?" I pled. "I won't let you waste away in here."

Suddenly, she drew back. Her lank blonde hair swept into her face, so I couldn't see her expression, and she was muttering "No, no," over and over again, shaking her head. She backed up against the wall and sank to the ground. She hid her face in her hands again. I thought she was crying, but I couldn't tell.

After a few minute's silence, I whispered "Namine?" Like before, her name seemed to echo around the vacant, somewhat-eerie house. Her head shot up and in her eyes fired an unexpected and uncharacteristic fury.

"Too late. I've already wasted away."

She got up and ran to what I assumed to be her room, and locked the door.


	22. Agoraphobe part II

**O**_u_**t**_**s**__i_**d**e _**W**__o_rl**d **S**h**_**r**_u**n**_k_

**I**t'd been three days.

Three long, laborious days of pounding on her door and shouting so loud I was sure my voice was never to be the same again, of camping outside her bedroom door and sleeping on the cold tile.

My hair was absolutely _suffering_.

The thing is, I didn't care about that. I'd hurt Namine; now I needed to make it better. I don't know whether it was pure concern for my friend (who might just be a little more than a friend) or my male pride, but either way, I needed to patch things up.

My shouts were usually of pleading. I'd plead and plead for hours, all day once, but there was never any response from those shouts.

Sometimes they were of anger. Of frustration, really. I'd scream and kick at her door and only when my anger had settled down, then she would respond. Any creature with ears could hear her endless sobbing, and sometimes my quiet tears, too.

It'd been a hard three days.

I got up from the floor that had been my bed long enough to give me aches and tried the knob on her door. It was around six in the morning, judging by my bodily clock. Nami would be asleep.

I wasn't expecting anything, but, to my surprise, the door opened with a click and a creak. I crept inside the room and silently closed the door behind me.

I was right in my assumption that this was her room. It was mostly a creamy white and a light, dusty blue. The walls were decorated not with paint, but with pictures. Sketches, paintings, acrylics, everything. They ranged from black and white to all sorts of colors, even some I'd never seen. The ones on the left side of the wall were perfect and beautiful. The ones on the right were more colorless and more macabre than Namine's usual style.

There were plenty of other drawings beside on the wall, though. Most of them on the floor, ripped or crumpled. I pick up one that seemed in a bit better shape than the others. It had silver and black smears, and a unique shade of blue. After a few seconds of staring at it, I realized it was supposed to be me. I blushed.

I set the drawing on her dresser and examined the rest of the room. Her bed, white with a blue canopy, was pushed up against the north wall. On either side of the bed were two doors, exactly the same. I assumed one led to her closet; the other, her bathroom.

Against the south wall was the huge dresser, white, of course, with a large heart-shaped mirror. The mirror had a few cracks and was smeared with black paint. I tried not to think of the obvious reason for this.

In the south-west corner of the room was a rather small white rocking chair. It seemed different from all the other furniture. Older, maybe. There were cracks in the painting and scratches on the legs. It smelled of perfume and a light tint of candy, unlike the rest of the room's paint-fume scent. Across the chair was a colorful, out-of-place afghan, looking ages old. I jumped when it moved and walked forward, ready to attack whatever was hiding under there. I carefully lifted part of the afghan up, and my breath caught when I saw a bit of blonde hair. I pulled the rest of the blanket down, just enough to see Namine's face.

I thought about waking her up, about trying to convince her to come out while she was still groggy, but I knew she wouldn't go and that would just lower my chances of ever getting her out of here. I backed up and sat on the floor, resting my head against the bed post. It wasn't ideal for comfort, but I figured it wouldn't be too different from sleeping in the hallway.

I must've dozed off like that, because the next thing I knew I was being shaken awake by cold, fragile hands.

"Riku, wake up," a soft voice echoed in my ear. "Come _on_ sleepy head!"

Suddenly, I remembered where I was and jumped to my feet.

"Namine! You're awake? Universe, what time is it…?" I muttered. My head was spinning. I sat on her bed and rested my head in my hands.

She giggled. It was a curious noise; very melodic. It didn't match her body anymore, but I hoped it would soon.

"You've been asleep for almost fourteen hours now," she said, sitting next to me. I whistled.

"Some nap."

"Yeah…"

There was an awkward silence in the room. I didn't really care though. I just wanted my head to clear up.

Namine sat on the bed next to me. She started playing with my hair, platinum silver and on the long side now, humming a familiar tune that I couldn't quite remember the name of.

I straightened my back again and waited for her to say something. She didn't.

"What are you thinking?" I asked, breaking the silence. Silences, with nothing else to distract me, drove me crazy. Namine smiled.

"Just wondering how your hair would look in the sunset. Would it be more silver, or entirely red and yellow, or maybe a new color no one's ever heard of before?" she answered. I nodded, too dazed to get the significance in what she said.

"I mean, I haven't gone outside in so long… Perhaps, would you like to come with me to see the sunset?"

I noticed that time. My head snapped around so fast I felt a crick.

"Ow… Do you mean it? Do you really want to go outside this time?"

She nodded. "Yes."

"What happened to 'It's too scary'?"

"It shrunk!"

I stared blankly at her for a second.

"It _shrunk_?"

"Yeah!" she nodded vigorously, smiling. I saw the light back in her eyes and couldn't help smiling back.

"Alright then. You sure you don't have a problem with going outside?"

"Absolutely sure." To prove her point, she got up and opened her old, long-eroded window. It squealed open slowly, but when it did, she stuck her arm out the window. She was beaming.

"Well then," I said, "I guess we're going to see the sunset!"

**A/N: Emmy, what the fuck are you doing…**


	23. Agoraphobe part III

**B**_a_b_**y **__S_**t****e**_p_s a**n**_d __**S**_w_e_**e**t S_**u**_**n**_s_**e**t_**s**_

"So why did you decide to finally go outside?" I asked, leaning against the wall outside her door. She was changing in her room, but we could still hear each other.

I heard the smirk in her voice. "You were talking in your sleep."

My breath caught with an audible gasp. Namine chuckled.

"It wasn't anything bad, just you begging me to come watch the sunset with you and saying how much you really liked me and wondering how my lips tasted…" She came out from behind the door in a dress that was newer and smaller than what she had had on before. She was smirking wildly, whilst my face was burning fire-truck red. I _hated _my subconscious. I made a mental note to gag myself next time I went to sleep.

"Oh, don't worry. I didn't believe a single word. Now, I think you need this." She handed me a silver comb. I weighed it in my hands. Real silver. Namine smiled.

"To match your hair," she stated.

I was flabbergasted. "But, don't you need a comb?"

Her smile just kept getting wider. "I have one. Pure gold."

"To match your hair," I guessed.

"Yep. Now, I'll leave you two alone…"

She strolled leisurely down the hallway, laughing her way to what should have been the kitchen, if no one had changed the house since the last time I was here. I ducked into her bedroom to find a small hand mirror lying on her dresser. I thanked the Universe there was one mirror she hadn't vandalized.

My hair was in dire shape. It was coarse and scraggly and looked about to lose its shine. I'd need a routine shower to get it back to its original state, but for now, I was okay with being able to brush it.

After it was at least partially acceptable, I put the brush and mirror down and went off to find Namine. She was in the kitchen, like I'd thought, sitting on the dusty counter and munching on a pear. She smiled when she saw me, and I felt my heart fly. Stupid thing.

"Hey. You done with the beauty appointment yet?"

I normally would've beaten the life out of anyone who'd comment on my hair, but not her. I couldn't get angry at her, not after seeing how much happier she was now…

She raised one eyebrow expectantly. I broke out of my trance and nodded curtly.

"Good. So we can get going now?" she asked. I nodded again, but didn't take a step forward. She jumped off the counter, took my hand, and led me to the front door. I felt like a ragdoll.

I opened the door for her and silently walked to the hill, feeling like a zombie.

"What's wrong? Zombie eat your brain?" she joked. Apparently it was obvious.

"Just nervous."

"About?"

"You." I stopped and turned to look at her. She'd folded her arms over her chest.

"What about me?"

"I don't want you to get a panic attack or anything," I muttered, looking at my feet. I hated admitting my fears. Stuff like that just brings down a man's confidence.

She didn't laugh, like I feared, but smiled consolingly. "Don't worry about me, Riku. I'll be fine."

"So," I said after we'd been walking for a few minutes, "you never told me exactly what I said that made you want to come outside."

Namine sighed. "It wasn't a thing you said. It was more of everything you said." She laughed a bit at my puzzled expression. "You were begging me to come outside, saying it would be beautiful, that you knew I missed it and you could see how it affected me. You said you just wanted for me to be happy again. And that just broke it. It made the world shrink."

I smiled. Maybe I wouldn't have to gag myself every evening after all.

"You sure you're ready to take such a big step, though?" I asked.

"Pssh. This is just a baby step. It'll be weeks before I can go out in a crowd, and maybe months before I can go anywhere outside without you. I'm afraid you're stuck with me for a while."

That wouldn't be so bad.

I realized we'd reached the hill. The sun was setting rapidly. We'd have to hurry our climb if we were going to make this trip worthwhile.

"C'mon, we've got to hurry!" I urged her. I ushered her a couple of yards up the hill, until her foot got stuck in between a rock and a hard place in the dirt **(thank you, metaphors)**. She yelped and would've fallen if I hadn't caught her by the armpits.

Instead of letting her go like she expected me to, I picked her up myself, bridal style. She screamed again in surprise.

"_What _in the world are you doing, Riku?" she laughed.

"Carrying you," I stated nonchalantly, like I went around carrying girls all the time. In truth this was the closest I'd ever been to her, and if it wasn't for having the hill concentrate on, I would be blushing again. It was weird, the way she always made me blush. Unnatural.

After a few minutes we finally got to the top, where the ground was flat and soft. I was close to huffing. Nami wasn't that heavy; I just hadn't ever carried someone that far before. On that steep a slope. I set her down on her feet and collapsed to my knees. She laughed lightly.

"Slow down there, tiger. You look like a geezer."

Something inside of me couldn't hold it back:

"I love your vocabulary."

She stopped laughing. She looked a little shocked. I mentally kicked myself for saying such a stupid thing.

"Thanks… I guess?" she said.

"No problem."

There was another awkward silence. I was beginning to hate those.

"Soooo."

"So."

"So…"

"Sushi!" she laughed. I laughed with her, thankful the awkwardness had gone.

"That was random," I commented. She shrugged.

"It gets the Awkwards all the time."

"Awkwards?"

"Yeah. Like Nobodies? Only instead of being real people, they're a collective group of awkward silences."

"Ah," I said, not even attempting to understand her smart talk. It took too much brain power. "Anyway, what do you think?" I asked, gesturing toward the setting sun. It was very close to the horizon, just flecks of gold and red light coloring the sky. Namine sighed contentedly.

"Beautiful," she breathed. I sat back, putting my legs straight in front of me and leaning on my hands. She did the same. I was surprised her fragile skin didn't rip.

"Do you want to do this again tomorrow?" I asked once the sun had fully gone down. The night sky was sparkling with millions of stars, many more than I could count.

"Of course! Where else would we go?"

I smiled. "Downtown."

"Ugh. Not yet." She shuddered at the mere thought of it. There was a few seconds' silence.

"Can we stay here for a while?" she asked. "I haven't seen stars in a long time, either. They're absolutely breath-taking."

"If you want to. I'll always be here," I answered. She smiled and took my hand. I sat up, crossing my legs, and picked her up by the waist, settling her on my lap. She seemed to be used to my picking her up by now. She leaned against my chest, getting comfortable. I could see her strain to keep her eyes open, despite her obvious fatigue. Under the light of the moon she looked like a little girl again, but better this time. Happy. The smile was back on her lips and the sparkle back in her eyes. There was a hint of rose in her cheeks again. She was beautiful.

I don't know how long it was before I fell asleep, but when I woke up next, it seemed to be about midnight. Namine was sleeping soundly, still leaning against my chest. I moved slowly and carefully to a large rock, so I could rest my back. She didn't stir.

I looked up at the stars. They shined as bright as ever.

"I wonder if we'll see a shooting star…" I wondered aloud.

I looked down at Namine and couldn't help myself. I tilted my head down, kissed her cheek, and whispered softly in her ear,

"Found one."

**A/N: I feel genius.**


	24. Agoraphobe part IV

Dreams and nightmares

It was early dawn when I woke up again. Namine hadn't moved an inch, and was snoring lightly. I wrapped my arms around her waist and held her tight. Again, she didn't stir.

I had had the strangest, most wonderful dream. It seemed to be a slideshow of my future.

First, the dream was Namine and me on this hill. Then the edges got fuzzy and dissolved into a scene that was obviously a wedding. There was a stunning young woman- about twenty or so- at the front of the aisle standing next to her mother. She was smiling wildly, her azure eyes alight with ecstasy. Her silky honey-blonde hair was put up in a neat bun and her dress was a simple cream white, the skirt billowing out to create that bell look that signified brides for centuries but looked like a beautiful original on her.

At the end of the aisle was a man with sea-blue eyes and long silver hair in an elegant black suit standing next to a priest. His smile was almost bright enough to surpass the woman's. Almost.

After the bride reached the groom and priest, the vision blurred again and I was looking at a somewhat-older version of the bride sitting on a park bench, dressed in a floral shirt and jeans. Her blonde hair was pushed back behind her ears and her eyes were closed.

The groom at the aforementioned wedding scene approached her and laid a hand on her enormous stomach. She was hugely pregnant. They both smiled and he leaned down to kiss her.

The scene changed yet again; this time into a damask, gloomy cobbled street. The groom was standing in front of a strange man with a gun pointed at his head. The groom's platinum hair swept into his face as he hung his head in defeat.

Suddenly, the bride came running across the street and was a foot away from her husband when the man shot him. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a little girl, about five, looking like a mini version of her mother. Her azure orbs were already red from crying.

By this time I'd figured out this was how my life was supposed to be. And I liked it. This dream was my form of epiphany, just less instantaneous. More like "Aah, that's it…" than "Eureka!", if that makes any sense. Despite the bitter ending, I didn't want to wake up.

After that the dream was blank, and my disappointment was enough to fully wake me up. Then I remembered who was sleeping in my arms. The disappointment disappeared.

Namine started moving. I snapped out of my reverie and looked down at her. She was still asleep, that was certain, but her face was crumpled into a look of mixed pain and confusion. Her arms were twitching, as if she wanted to reach out to grab something but was being restrained. She started muttering;

"No… no, please… Don't die… you can't…"

Suddenly, she let out an ear-splitting scream that made me jump ten feet in the air. She was wriggling in my arms, trying to run. Her eyes were still closed so I held on tighter, not sure if she knew whether or not she was going to run off a ledge. I opted not to test that.

Still moving violently, enough to give me bruises, she was sobbing heartbrokenly. Tears were streaming down her face in the thousands and they just kept coming. Between the screaming and the crying, I wasn't sure if she was breathing or not.

When she was finally quiet, she opened her eyes and looked into mine. She sighed of relief, as if she expected me not to be here. Her tensed body relaxed.

Neither of us said anything for a while. We watched the sun rise wordlessly. When it was all the way up, she looked up at the sky and frowned.

"What?" I asked, unable to contain my curiosity.

"The stars disappeared." She was looked at me again, pouting like a little girl. I laughed.

"They do that in the day."

"Oh. I'd forgotten."

I sighed, all sign of mirth gone. She'd really missed out on a lot.

Not wanting to bring up our dreams, I asked "What did you do in the mansion all this time?"

She shrugged. "Nothing special, really. For the first few months I drew what I remembered of the outside world, and of you. After that I mostly read about it in books. Legend of Camelot books, especially. Then you came along and I realized how big the world was, and I decided it easier to read about other peoples' adventures in books than actually have my own."

"Sounds dreary."

"Mm."

We sat in silence again. She still hadn't gotten up from my lap and I wasn't complaining. I liked feeling her pulse under my hands. After a while, she sighed.

"Alright, I'll ask: What did you dream?"

I looked at her, surprised. "Huh?"

"Don't you wonder what my dream was about?" she challenged. I shrugged.

"Yes. But I wasn't going to force it out of you."

"I'm just itching to tell."

"Then why don't you?"

"Ask me first."

I sighed, a bit exasperated. "Alright. Namine, what did you dream about?"

She smiled. "I don't really remember the beginning…"

"Great," I commented sarcastically.

"…but," she started again, placing a finger on my lips, "I do remember most of it. We were in this garage thing and you and this guy were leaning on a car, smoking. Then I said something and you got really angry and suddenly we both had these really fancy guns. Mine was pure silver and looked like the enlarged version of a pistol and yours was pure gold and looked like the enlarged version of a rifle. You started chasing me and I ran and darted around the fence and suddenly I was outside the gates for the Olympus Coliseum. They were closed, and I cornered. I turned to face you and you'd pointed your gun at me and had your finger on the trigger. I aimed my gun and shot you right in the heart.

When you were dying, you were yourself again. You said you forgave me and you tried to make a joke to make me stop crying, but it wouldn't work. I tried to bandage your wound with a bit of your shirt, but the blood kept pouring out and when you finally died it was the worst feeling I'd ever felt in my life."

She finished her story and looked up at me. I couldn't read her expression. I was too stunned.

"You… dreamt… I… tried to… _kill _you?" I choked out. My voice broke on _kill_.

She nodded solemnly.

"_Why_?"

"I have no idea. I-I was just remembering back at the mansion, when you got mad when I wouldn't come out and started kicking the door…" Her voice trailed off.

"Namine, you know I'd never do that."

"Yeah, I know. It was just a bad dream, is all. Now. Why don't you tell me what you dreamed?"

I shook my head, trying to clear it. The horrifying image of pointing a gun at her poisoned my mind like the Plague.

"Why not?" she asked, misinterpreting.

"I don't remember the beginning," I answered dryly. She rolled her eyes.

"Come on, Riku. You know I get curious!"

"Alright, if you insist," I muttered, suddenly getting nervous. I talked very quickly, like a motor;

"First it was us on this hill and then the edges fuzzed and we were getting married and then suddenly you were on a park bench and you were pregnant and I touched your belly and we both smiled and then I was randomly on this cobble-stoned street and there was a guy who was about to shoot me and you came running from across the street but you didn't make it in time and at the edge of the scene I could see our daughter crying and then I woke up." I inhaled deeply, out of breath.

Namine was silent. She'd frozen in place. Despite the haste in which I recounted the dream and my surety that I'd jumbled up most of the words, she was analyzing what I'd said deeply. I almost regretted telling her.

Finally, she spoke. "Well. I guess we both have pretty messed-up subconsciouses."

"Yeah."

She slowly pulled herself out of my arms- much to my displeasure- and stood up. I stood up with her, feeling empty and cold where she'd been pressing against me, and wordlessly started walking. I was about to turn around and check if she was following, but I didn't have to. I could hear her feet shuffle against the rubble as she hastened to catch up. She immediately held my hand.

"Slow down there. I'm not ready to be outside by my own, you know," she said, smiling. I smiled back weakly and kept walking. Neither of us mentioned either of our dreams for the rest of the way home.

**A/N: Damn those awkwards.**


	25. Agoraphobe part V

Blood and Sea-Salt Ice cream

Life went like that for a little while. Nami slept on her bed whilst I slept on the floor, we exchanged a few sarcastic comments, and spent the day on the hill till either midnight or, if I was lucky, early morning. It was a pretty messed-up schedule, but she seemed to like it.

Today was the day for another baby step.

"Namine, we can't just keep doing this forever," I pled. She shook her head.

"We could, if you would stop pushing me. I don't want to go outside," she responded, being stubborn. I sighed.

"Alright. Fine. We won't go to Twilight Town today," I said.

"Good." With that, she turned and slammed her door in my face. I uncrossed my fingers from behind my back and smiled.

***

I knew she'd never go to Twilight Town on her own will, even if I dragged her. She'd bite my arm off or something. I anticipated her refusal, but I still had to try. I really didn't feel like deceiving her.

But it had to be done. Or we'd be stuck on that hill forever.

I'd asked her at just the right time- about four in the morning- so she'd be groggy enough to possibly say yes, but not so tired she'd refuse to wake up. At seven, when the sun was just starting to peek through the newly un-boarded windows, I quietly got up and tip-toed to the kitchen.

When I got back Nami was just waking up, yawning, her mouth a small o. I smiled slightly. She'd always seem like a little girl.

"Whatchya got there?" she asked, seeing the "strawberry smoothie" I was carrying. I smiled wider and kicked the door shut behind me.

"A good ol' morning smoothie to wake you up," I answered, sitting on the bed beside her. She swung her legs out under the duvet and over the side of the bed, took the smoothie from my hands, and took a sip.

"Mm." She nodded in approval. "Not bad, silver head."

Suddenly, her eyes rolled into the back of her head, and she went limp.

Knowing this was going to happen, but not expecting it to work so quickly, I rushed to put one hand on the back of her head, the other on her lower back like you would a baby, and set her down on the bed.

Okay, so I had given her a roofie. Was it really that bad? I needed to knock her out so she wouldn't be struggling when I took her to Twilight Town.

I picked her up again, like I usually did on the hill, and tried to arrange her limbs so it didn't look like I was carrying a dead body through town. We'd look suspicious enough as is.

In the end I just settled for her arms being curled up at her core and her legs swinging limply over my arm. Her head leaned against my chest and a check of her pulse assured me she was fine. I kicked the door open again and walked into the foyer and then outside to the dawn's light.

It was still early, so there weren't many people on the path to town. Nami's house lay on the outskirts of town, so I had to walk on a dirt path for a while until I got to the clock tower. It was peaceful, the sun's fresh light sparking the sky with red and yellow. Far to the west there was still a hint of azure in the sky. I'm sure Namine would have loved to draw it, if she were awake to see it.

_Maybe tomorrow_, I thought.

As expected, when I got to the more urban part of town, we got a few odd stares, but no one said anything about it.

When the sun was almost at the middle of the sky, Namine first began to stir. She started twitching and muttering, which just gave cause to more awkward looks, and I decided to wait on a park bench for her to fully awaken.

"No… No, I would _not _like a green chicken… I don't care if it lays green eggs or not... For the last time, I don't-… LEAVE ME ALONE!" she suddenly shouted, gaining the attention of everyone nearby. My ear drum felt like it had burst into pieces. Her eyes fluttered open, looked at me, at the sky, me, sky, me, sky, and finally settled on me again. She blushed a bright crimson and started laughing nervously.

"Whoops," she muttered.

It took all I could to not laugh. "_What _on _earth _were you dreaming of this time?" I asked.

"Err… Well… I was in this Dr. Seuss book, y'know, with the mutated breakfast food, and the muffin man tried to sell me a green chicken after I tried to pick his eyes out 'cause they looked like chocolate chips and apparently he didn't want the chicken since he turned out to be deathly allergic to green things but I said no, but he kept following me and tried stuffing the chicken into this huge top hat I was wearing so I just had enough and screamed at him to leave me alone and now I'm… here. Where are we?" she inquired, looking up at me. I gulped in nervousness. I was about to get my ass kicked…

"We're, err, um, y'know… _Here_," I stammered. She raised her eyebrows at me in confusion, but after a second there was realization in her eyes and her jaw dropped.

"You _didn't_!"

I laughed nervously. "Yeah, I did."

"Dammit, Riku!" She jumped up from my lap, turned to face me, and leaned in close as if she was about to kiss me. But her blue eyes were flaming with an angry fire.

"How _dare _you! You knew I didn't want to go here! You _knew _it, but you still took me here! You little-!" Suddenly, she leaned back and covered her face with her hand. The anger was still radiating from her in a wave of malicious heat. There was a moment of silence, but this time it wasn't awkward. I knew in her head she was calling me every name under the moon, and I also knew I deserved it.

"Look, Nami, this was a stupid idea. But I needed- no, _we _needed- to move forward. Beyond the hill. Beyond your house. You're never going to get better if you don't take chances," I said after a while. She hadn't moved an inch, but it clear from the exhausted slouch in her stance that she wasn't angry anymore. Not violently angry, anyway.

She sighed, and sat down next to me.

"Riku, there was a reason I stopped coming here."

"Does it involve a tragic story?"

She glanced at me sideways, confused. "Yes."

"Then don't tell me. I'm going to try to make this your best day ever. Now come on, let's get some ice cream," I said, getting up.

"But-"

"No. No sadness. No tragedy. Just you and me and Twilight Town." I took her hand and pulled her up. She shut up and followed me, all her anger gone.

We strolled around the park and to the main part of downtown, where everyone was buzzing about their business; children laughing and lazing about; adults with stern expressions and stiff suits; even a few elderlies walking their dogs. We ooed and awed at a street mime and some contortionists and by three o'clock Nami was laughing and smiling and pointing out things I'd never noticed before, like how the twelve on the clock tower was just a little bit closer to the eleven than the one, and how everyone seemed to be wearing stripes that day. It made me happy to see her like this.

As the end of afternoon was approaching, I realized she had yet to have a sea-salt ice cream.

"Nami!"

She looked at me weirdly and laughed. "Riku!"

"You need to have some ice cream!"

She pointed to the pink cotton candy in her hand. "I have this."

"But ice cream is so much better! Come on!" I tugged on her hand and starting running for the sea-salt ice cream booth. Instead of the normal ice cream man, there was a tall, skinny young man about fourteen. He towered over even me, and looked very awkward in his uniform.

"Hello. What flavor ice cream do you kids want?" he asked.

"One sea-salt, please. Where's Ted?" I asked, referring to the large, jolly man who usually worked at the ice cream booth.

"Oh, you mean dad? He had to take care of EmaLee. She's gotten herself ill again, playing in the rain all the time," the man answered, scooping the ice cream in a waffle cone. He smiled and handed it to me. "Five munny please. The name's Jefferson. People call me Jeff."

"Pleased to meet you, Jeff," Nami said, giggling. She took the ice cream from my hand and starting eating it while I got the munny out of my pocket.

"The pleasure is all mine, Milady," he said, winking. She laughed again as I felt a bit of jealousy flare up in me. I took her by the elbow and lead her away from him before she could do something stupid, like give him her number.

We were walking around main town like before, when suddenly we heard a shriek. There was a crowd circling around to watch a man in a ski mask point a gun at a woman and her little boy. He was blonde with wide blue eyes and was licking a bit of his own sea-salt ice cream, probably not realizing the danger he and his mother were in. Namine walked forward a bit, as if she were in a trance and longed to help then.

"I said, give me your money!" the man shouted. "Or I shoot you both!" The woman quickly took her wallet from her purse and handed it to him, quivering in fear. The man opened the wallet, scowled, pointed the gun at the boy, and shot.

Namine stood there, frozen, her hand still outstretched as if she was pick up the little boy and carry him away to safety. Her ice cream splattered to the ground the same time his did, and even I could see the red mixing with the blue. The boy fell to the ground, as Namine collapsed into a sobbing heap.

**A/N: I love murder scenes, don't you?**


	26. Agoraphobe part VI

Tragic Story

The crowd hushed. Nobody spoke for a minute, but it felt like hours. Then a low buzz started to seep over the crowd, and a man came forward and put his arms around the woman, who had collapsed to the ground like Namine and was sobbing. The man who'd shot her son had snuck away with the wallet discarded on the ground. It was empty.

One by one, people left the scene, a few shaking their heads as if they were trying to clear it, others toting crying children. Namine hadn't moved from her spot on the ground. I leaned down and wrapped my arms around her shoulders in an effort to comfort her. I'm not sure she even noticed.

When everyone'd gone and the clean up team for the police were washing the blood away, Namine finally quieted. She gave out one last sob and slowly allowed me to guide her up. Her face was stained with tears and the collar of her dress was soaked. Her wonderful blue eyes and turned a tired red and she felt like skin and bones between my fingers. As it was, she could hardly walk without me supporting her.

On the way home (it'd become a home to me, too), neither of us said anything. We didn't need to. We knew I'd stay out of her room tonight and sleep in the foyer again while she did what was needed to comfort herself. We knew I wouldn't ask her anything till morning. But we also knew we needed to talk about what had happened today.

Oh joy.

***

"Hey Nami, you okay in there?" I asked, knocking on her door. She didn't answer. I turned the knob and opened the door a crack.

"Namine?" I called. She still didn't answer. I opened the door wider and stepped a few feet into her room.

I was shocked. The normally-neat room was a mess. There were discarded pictures everywhere, torn and tattered cloth that must've come off some kind of easel strewn across the floor. Red paint covered the walls and her mirror had another big crack in it. The white duvet on her bed had been thrown to the floor with the paintings, and there was an afghan-covered clump on the bed. I knew without having to check it was Namine.

What shocked- no, _terrified_- me the most were the bottles. Broken glass everywhere. Stains on the sheets and carpet. But the glass wasn't what scared me. What scared me was what the bottles so obviously held.

_Vodka._

"Namine…" I sighed. Suddenly, the clump on her bed stirred and a low, pained groan came from her.

"Don't… talk… Ugh…"

I rushed to her side and took the afghan off her. Her blonde hair was in disarray and her azure eyes were even redder than had been before she'd slept, and she had dark bags under them. There were still tear stains on her pale cheeks, and she looked a little green. Her fragile hands were cradling her head as she rocked back and forth.

"Na-"

She shot me a look of murder.

"Do. _Not. _Talk," she hissed. I nodded in understanding and tiptoed to the bathroom that joined with her room to get her some aspirin. I returned with two Tylenol and a cup of water. Her shaky hands took them and she popped the pills in her mouth and washed them down with the water. She continued drinking till there was none left.

"More," she croaked. I nodded and wordlessly re-filled the cup and handed it to her. She drank as though she hadn't for days.

We sat on the bed next to each other in silence for a few minutes. She combed her fingers through her hair absentmindedly. I wanted to ask what she was thinking, but I was afraid of what the answer would be.

She cleared her throat. I looked at her expectantly, thinking she wanted more water, but she shook her head. She winced after doing so.

"No," she said. "No more. I just want to talk."

I nodded, though I had no idea what to say. After a moment or so, she sighed.

"I guess I have to start this. Look, Riku, I don't usually do this. I'm not an alcoholic or anything. It's just sometimes, I, you know, snap." I nodded again. I still had no clue how to respond to her.

"I suppose you want to know why I'm acting like this over a stranger. I mean, people die every day, right?

But you see, I once had a family. A mother. A father. A little brother. And they all loved me, and I loved them. But we always fought.

One day, when I was out of town visiting an old friend after a huge fight between my mother and me, a man come to our home. He slaughtered my father on sight and took my brother, Caleb, hostage.

My mother loved Caleb desperately. He was her miracle baby. And the thing is, I didn't care. In a way, he was mine, too. She would do anything to get him back. She made a bank account for the scoundrel who'd taken him and sent him a few million I never knew we had. The man was pleased, but he wanted more.

He snuck into our house and started looting all of my mother's jewelry. He wanted the diamond pendant she always wore around her neck. When she denied it from him, he got angry. He tied her to a chair and left. He came back with Caleb.

The autopsy reports say most of his injuries weren't obtained till then. I'd love to think that, because he wouldn't have had to suffer for long. But they couldn't be sure, and I had a hard time staying hopeful.

The man gagged my mother so she wouldn't scream and started carving up my little brother. The man didn't gag Caleb. He wanted my mother to hear his screams, I know.

The man did his job slowly, dragging the knife across Caleb's body slowly. He cut his fingers off one by one, and then his toes. He cut Caleb's neck repeatedly, but not deep enough to kill him. When he went to cut his arm off, my mother got loose of her gag and shouted at the man. She begged him for Caleb's life. The man shot her in the heart, and stabbed Caleb in the neck.

That… That _nightmare _was what I came home to. I cried and cried and cried. It took me hours to get calm enough for the police to understand me. And when they came and started scooping up evidence, I cried again. And when they questioned me, I cried even more. I needed to drink water by the gallon just to maintain the right hydration levels."

She paused, and looked at me. Her eyes were watering up again, but she looked stronger than she had before. Like telling the story gave her strength now. I was too shocked, horrified, to say anything. She looked down at the duvet again and continued her story.

"It took me two years to get that image out of my head. I didn't talk to anyone. I started talking to myself and hearing Caleb's sweet voice in my head. But then you came along, and you made me happy. You talk to me and helped me. You gave me the push I needed to move forward. You got me out of this house and you expelled my nightmares.

But then that boy was killed and… You can guess who he looked like."

On sudden impulse I pulled her to me and rested her on my lap. I wrapped my arms around her waist and hugged her and kissed the top of her head. She started sobbing and I whispered calming words in her ear and rocked back and forth slowly as if she were a child. And at that moment, she was the most vulnerable and precious thing in the world to me. I knew I loved her.

**A/N: Crazy romantic.**


	27. Agoraphobe part VII

Apologetic Postmen and Agitated Taxi Drivers

Namine cried herself to sleep while I held her tightly against me, still murmuring soft comfort words in her ear. She was still blubbering by the time she drifted off, but there was a miniscule hint of a smile on her face. Just seeing that spark of happiness on her set a wonderful kind of fire in my heart. I found myself smiling also as I continued to rock back and forth slowly.

She slept through the whole day, and, by sunset, when I was sure she wouldn't be awakening till morn, I tried to go to sleep myself. But I just couldn't. Each time I tried to close my eyes, they immediately snapped open again to check on her, to make sure she was okay. Every time I felt my joints groan in fatigue from rocking for so long and I tried to stop, I couldn't deal with not feeling the weight of her shifting in my lap, with not feeling her breath hitch in her throat a little whenever I went back. I spent the day and night just watching her slumber. And it was the best twenty-four hours of my life.

Sometime during early morning I must've finally fallen asleep, because, next thing I knew, I was being shaken awake by a pair of dainty hands on my shoulders. My eyelids drooped and I felt like sleeping again, but then I remembered exactly whose hands must want me awake, and I snapped to attention. Namine stepped back a little in surprise and laughed.

"Hey there, sleepy head."

I smiled weakly, still tired. "You're one to be talking, Sleeping Beauty," I teased. She blushed and sat down on the bed next to me. I tried my hardest not to pull her onto my lap again, although where she'd been pressing against my body felt unbearably cold and empty.

"Did I say anything yesterday?" she asked, still a light shade of crimson. I shook my head no. She looked rather shocked.

"But I _always _say something!" she exclaimed. I smiled, enjoying the amusing look on her face.

"Well, you didn't this time."

"Strange… I wonder why?"

I shrugged. "People are peculiar. Erratic."

She looked at me oddly, her mouth gaping open a little. I resisted the urge to kiss her and just smiled wider.

"Since when did you learn such big words? Read a dictionary while I was asleep?" she asked, one eyebrow raised in joking surprise.

I just laughed. "Enough talking. I'm sure you're hungry by now, and I'm pretty peckish myself." I got up and grasped her hand, as was habit by now. I smiled lightly at the answering rumbling of her stomach. But I couldn't quite shake this feeling. Like something was going to go very wrong, very soon.

* * *

"Have enough to eat?" I joked, flipping over another pancake on the stove. It was old and wouldn't light by itself, but Namine had a few matches lying around that I could use.

I'd never really looked at the kitchen with much detail before. But now I could see everything. The spider web in the corner; the slightly-stingy yellow curtains hanging on the window; the light blue tint the cream walls had; how the wrought iron curled in the table set underneath the aforementioned windows. It was, or, it used to be, the ideal family kitchen.

"Nope," Nami said, not catching my teasing. "Keep 'em coming, Cook." I rolled my eyes and emptied the pan onto her plate.

The door bell rang, making us both jump. I saw Namine start to get up and waved her down. "I'll get it," I said, walking towards the door and taking off the pink apron Namine all-but-forced me to wear.

I swung open the door, ignoring the mid-autumn chill that swept across the floor. It was the postman.

"Oh, hello. I thought today was Sunday…" I said softly. I had a sick feeling in my stomach.

The postman had his hat pressed to his heart, like soldiers did at a funeral. He looked up at me and said in a low monotone,

"I came here to personally deliver some news. Are you Riku?" I nodded. "Well then. I'm sorry, Sir, but… your mother's dead."

The news shocked me so much I had to grip the doorframe to keep from falling over. I didn't even notice the small pair of feet trailing behind me, or the soft gasp she made when she heard. The world was spinning unbearably fast, out of control.

The postman went on, as if he didn't notice I couldn't hear anything but the wind rushing around my ears.

"Her funeral will be in six days, starting on next Saturday. There, she will be buried and a service will be held. Her will will be read aloud there, too."

"Al-… Alright. Good day, postman," I said when I could speak again. I didn't notice I'd even moved, but I heard the door swooshing closed and light steps on the pavement outside.

"Mother…" I murmured. I was suddenly immersed in memory.

"_Hey Ri-Ri, can you hold still for a second? Your hair is hard enough to handle, even without you squirming," his mother said in a joking, bell-like voice. Riku blushed at the mention of his pet name and tried to stop moving around, but it was hard. He hated having his hair cut. He had a bit of a phobia about having sharp things too close to his head._

"_There," she said after a while. "All done. And don't you look gorgeous, deary?" She smiled and kissed his cheek. All he could do was nod in simple agreement. He was stunned at her handiwork. His hair, which, from the day he turned four till now, had been a frizzy, silver mess. Now it was straight and sleek and he looked more handsome than geeky. For once._

"Riiiiiiiikuuuuu?" Another wonderfully familiar voice snapped me out of my flashback. I shook my head, trying to clear it, and looked into the opal eyes of a worried-looking Namine. I tried to smile, but the death of my mother, although I didn't even know her for long, hung over my head and suppressed any emotion.

"Riku, are you okay? Do you need some water?" Namine asked. We were back in her room again, and I was sitting in her old rocking chair, her on her bed. Her beautiful face was still contorted with concern and pity. I resisted the urge to sigh and nodded my head. The action made the room spin.

She got up and left the room, grabbing her glass I had yet to clear from her bedside table. The scent she stirred up in the air was fresh and floral; lavender. It was the same scent Mother always wore. It made my heart ache.

I hadn't known my mom too well as a child. When I was two, she left Dad and me on Destiny Islands for the city. For a more glamorous life, Dad had told me. When I was ten, she came back, looking as beautiful as I'd always remembered, with her silver hair- like mine- cut short and her brown eyes twinkling. She came claiming she wanted me to come with her back to the city. Dad said no, and she got angry. I had to be shipped between the two throughout my teenage years, until she stopped responding to my letters. I'd given up by now.

But now she was dead, and my heart ached as if she hadn't left, as if she'd always been there for me when, in reality, it'd been Dad. It didn't hurt as much as it would if Nami'd died- I couldn't even think about _that_-, but it still made my throat close up and my eyes water.

"Here. This should help," Namine greeted me, giving me the water. She was smiling lightly; _Probably at the irony, _I thought. Was it only a day ago I was helping her? It seemed like forever.

I nodded in acknowledgment and drunk the water slowly, brooding over what'd happened.

"So… When are you going to get going?" Namine asked, breaking the silence. I looked up at her and saw silent tears on her face. Cursing myself for my selfishness, I put the empty glass on her dresser and pulled her onto my lap, wrapping my arms around her waist again. She easily relaxed against my chest and leaned back.

"Going where?" I responded, resting my head on her shoulder.

"Don't you have to go to the funeral?"

"Oh. Right."

"Well?" she pressed. I sighed.

"I don't know. It's pretty far away, so I may have to leave early. Then there are the lawyers and legal stuff…" I answered. I shuddered inwardly. I hated legal stuff.

"Soon, then." I felt her answering sigh and risked a kiss on her shoulder.

"Hey. I'm here now, aren't I?"

* * *

I decided to leave on Thursday, so I could have a few buffer days between here and where Mother'd lived. I would take a plane there, immediately deal with anything her expensive, snooty lawyers wanted, go to the funeral, and then come back. Namine and I spent our last days till I had to go either inside, watching movies and reading, or outside, visiting the visiting fair or on the hill. I thought about telling her I loved her, but I never felt it was the right time. Either way, I sort of relished and felt sorry for the tears in her eyes when I left.

"I'll be back as soon as it's over. Promise," I said, trying to smile through the rock lodged in my chest. The taxi we'd called to pick me up and take me to the airport purred in the loose gravel, and I could feel the driver's agitation.

Namine walked up to me and kissed me softly. "I believe you."

I resisted the urge to touch my fingers to my lips. She'd tasted so wonderful…

"You'll be okay by yourself?" I asked. She nodded.

"Yeah. My friend Kairi will be staying her while you're gone, so I won't be lonely."

"Kairi?" I frowned. I hadn't known she'd met Kairi.

"Mhm. We met at the fair. Now, shoo! Your taxi awaits." Namine smiled sadly, and I brushed a few stray tears away before getting into the taxi and leaving her to the unknown.

"I love you…" I whispered, touching my fingers to the glass on the window.

"That your girl?" the driver asked. He looked about to be fifty, with a large beer belly and more hair on his chin than on his head. He spoke in gruff, curt sentences in a deep voice.

"Yeah. I mean, er, we're not like that _exactly_…" My voice trailed off and my face turned red. The driver hmphed in indifference and pressed on the gas.


	28. Agoraphobe part VIII

**A/N: This chapter will be in Namine's perspective. As will IX.**

Fortune Telling

I waved one last time at the taxi purring away on the horizon, sighed, and trudged back inside.

The house felt empty without him. There was a sort of light he brought to the place, a light that used to be here before Caleb…

I shooed that thought away, went into my room, flopped on my bed, and watched the ceiling fan gyrating away, without a care in the world…

Things between Riku and I felt mixed. Like a bunch of muddled lines that _used _to be straight, but now they were curving and twisting. They were dancing in my mind like a bunch of crazy moogles in hula skirts.

I mean, sure, I liked him. But did I love him?

And, most importantly, did he love me?

I twisted a piece of my flax-colored hair between my fingers and thought about everything that'd happened in the past month. So much had changed; I didn't even know where to begin.

Finally giving up, I rolled onto my stomach, picked up my phone, and started dialing.

"_Hello?" _Kairi greeted. I smiled, pleased I remembered right.

"Yeah, hey, this is Namine."

"_Oh, Nami! Hey. What's up? Ready for me to come over?"_

"Yeah. Riku's gone."

"_Alright. I'll be there soon." _There was a soft _click _as the phone disconnected. I smiled again. I wasn't sure how I could handle four days without Riku, but it would definitely be better with Kairi here.

We'd met at the fair Riku and I had gone to on Monday. I was scared of rollercoasters, so Riku went on that while I opted for the less-threatening fortune teller tent.

It had been made of hide, like an Indian tent, and dyed purple. There were sparkling multicolored beads hanging from the small doorway and assorted fortune-telling materials hanging on the walls. Kairi had been sitting in a plastic chair draped with paisley cloth behind a large wooden table that occupied most of the small tent. There was the classic crystal ball sitting on a golden pedestal in the center of the table, and Kairi had clasped her hands together, showing the large rings on her fingers, gleaming in the light the orange lava lamp had made. It made her red hair a bright vermillion, which, paired with her sharp gaze, made me so scared I thought for a second _If only I had gone on that rollercoaster…_

But if I'd backed out, Riku never would've let me forget it. I sat down.

"Alright, which do you want to see?" Kairi said, leaning back in her chair. Her hands looked like they were itching to wave around the fan set on the table next to her.

"Huh?" I asked, confused. She rolled her eyes, impatient.

"Do you want to see the past, or the future?"

I frowned in confusion. "Wouldn't I already know the past?"

Kairi smiled lightly. "You'd be surprised how many people realize otherwise."

"Well then, I'd like to know the past, please," I responded, returning her smile.

She leaned forward again, took my hand, and closed her eyes. Suddenly, her amused expression vanished as her red eyebrows burrowed together in confusion and… fear?

"What do you see?" I asked, concerned.

"Oh, nothing, really. Just… Nothing. Would you like a cup of tea?" Kairi stuttered. She looked white as a ghost, and her hands shook as she took a tea pot and two cups from the small table behind her. It confused me endlessly, but I decided to let it go. After all, what's the worst that could happen?

Before I could answer her, she shoved the cup into my hand and nearly spilled the whole pot on the table. I smiled lightly.

"Butter fingers?" I asked, trying to keep it light as I steadied the pot in her hands. She nodded, her bright hair flowing down from her bun down her back.

"I'm so sorry I freaked out on you there," Kairi said after a few minutes. She'd put the rest of her hair down and turned on a fan behind her, along with the hand fan she was waving rapidly at her face. "It's just, I don't usually see anything when I do that, you know? It's just for entertainment, you know? But with you…" she shuddered. She looked like she was done talking, but I could've sworn I heard her mutter "Poor boy…"

So she'd seen Caleb. I guess that wasn't too surprising.

"So," she said, twiddling her plastic stirring spoon between her forefinger and thumb, "tell me about yourself."

"Oh me? I'm not too interesting…" But soon I was confiding in her about all my problems, my past, my brother, my confusion about Riku…

"Wait a second," Kairi interrupted. "You've been living with, from what I hear around here, the hottest guy in Twilight Town for nearly a _month_, and you haven't… You know…"

I laughed nervously, sure my face was turning as red as her hair. "No," I murmured. "We haven't."

Kairi whistled in disbelief. "That's some heavy restraint you've got there. From all the rumors circulating around this town, you'd think he was almost crazy to get his hands on a girl. Not that he'd have far to look. The guy has his very own fan club."

"No, no, Riku's not like that. Trust me. He's a very sweet person," I responded, turning red again. I'd never thought of him like that before…

But I had to admit, it didn't sound too bad.

"If you say so. When's he going?" Kairi asked.

"Thursday."

"Oh, that's too bad. And he'll be gone four days?"

I nodded solemnly. I didn't like to think of him leaving. I wasn't afraid of going outside anymore, but I'd miss him terribly. He was sort of like a walking stick- You need him until you're healed, but you just can't let him go when you're all better. But it's not like I could just demand he miss his own mother's funeral just to keep me company. Even if he did say yes, I'd feel terrible.

Suddenly, Kairi snapped, making me jump a little. "I've got it! How 'bout I stay with you until he comes back?"

"You wouldn't mind?" I asked, unsure. But I was immediately comforted by Kairi's shaking head and the smile growing on her face.

"Groovy!" I exclaimed. The little cloud that had been weighing me down was lifted. I hated being alone.

"Err, yeah," Kairi responded, a little confused at my word choice, I was sure. But I didn't mind. I always liked old words.

"So. I'll be there at noon on Thursday. I promise I'll bring some old movies we can watch. It'll be like a sleep over!"

"Fantastic! Um, what's a sleep over?"

"…Never mind. I'll just bring some movies, 'kay?"

"Alright. Now, tell me, what rumors are there about Riku?"

Kairi laughed at the immediate reddening of my ears. She leaned forward on the table and spoke in a whispery voice, as if we were in a crowd and everyone wanted to hear what we were saying.

"Well, it depends on where you get your sources. If you look for dirt at the local high school, you'd get a million squeals and not one comprehendible word. Not from the boys, of course, but the boys won't give you anything either.

Now, if you check down at the local shops in the 'Square, they'd tell you Riku was a nice boy, a great help, blah blah blah.

_But_," she held up one finger to accentuate her point, "if you try the _circus… _Well, let's just say, circus people know just about everything about everyone. Especially the fortune tellers." She smirked rather deviously, and I couldn't help myself from asking,

"What do you know about him?"

"Riku is your regular Casa Nova. Handsome, smart, withdrawn… He doesn't take many girlfriends, and when he does, they're more like lovers. Or so they say.

He's great at sports, an alright actor. His one weakness is math, and that's just because he has the memory of a goldfish. Of course, he'd need it, to get all those one-nighters out of his head…" Kairi trailed off and turned her attention to me for the first time her in spiel. Her eyebrows knitted together in worry.

"Hey, are you alright? I'm sorry if I told you anything you didn't want to hear…"

I could only compose myself enough to nod slightly. I felt angry, jealous bile rising up in my chest, and my head felt like it was about to explode and splatter all over the tent's pretty walls.

"I-I've got to go. Riku will be wondering where I am." I stood up and made to leave, but Kairi's sharp nails on my wrist stopped me. I turned around to face her.

"What?" I snapped. I felt like I was going to start hyperventilating any moment now. Kairi's blue eyes looked sad and pitying as she reached into her bag and pulled out a card.

"That's my number. Call me if you need some company."

I nodded and stepped out of the tent, stuffing the card into my back pocket. The fresh air did nothing to help my imposing claustrophobia. I felt like running home and curling up into a ball forever. As it was, I ran to an abandoned booth and hid under there for who-knows-how-long until I saw a pair of muscled, toned legs I instantly recognized as Riku. Just the thought of him made me sick to my stomach.

"Nami?" he called out. "Where are you?"

After a few moments of inner debate, I whipped the booth's curtain away and stood up next to him.

"Nami!" he breathed, relieved. "I was so worried."

I wanted to say I was sorry, but Kairi's words came back to me and I felt an instant revulsion with his beautiful face.

"How long was I gone?" I asked, trying to keep my expression cold and stoic. He looked a little hurt, which stung, but I played her words in my head over again and I didn't care.

"About half an hour. I thought you'd been kidnapped or something… Anyway, I'm glad you're here now. Wanna get some sea salt ice cream before we go back?"

I nodded and walked a ways away from him, far enough that it'd be awkward if he tried to grab my hand. He seemed to catch onto the hint, and we didn't say a word until we'd reached Town Square.

"_Great_," Riku groaned. I looked at him, eyebrows raised in curiosity.

"That's guy's there again. At the ice cream booth," he said, answering my unspoken question.

"Oh. So what?"

"So. He irks me."

I smiled a little, satisfied at his discomfort. "Why?"

"He tried to flirt with you," Riku growled. I was a little flattered at his possessiveness, but that didn't do anything to lessen my scorn.

When we approached the ice cream booth this time, neither of them said anything, but the boy smiled at me. For some reason, it made me feel even sicker. I turned away.

Just seconds after Riku handed me my ice cream and we started walking, a few boys on skateboards zipped past me, almost causing me to fall over and spill the ice cream on my dress. I thought I heard Riku curse at them and ask if I was alright, but I couldn't hear him properly. One boy, at the back, turned around and looked at me with the most beautiful eyes; a sparkling, deep Mediterranean blue, with carefully spiked golden hair shining like a halo around his head. He wasn't wearing a helmet, but I knew right then that he had never fallen in his life, and probably never would. He captured my world in just a single sorry glance.

After that near-crash encounter, everything Kairi'd told me earlier seemed like nothing. The sky was blue. The grass was green. Everything in the world was right.

Eventually, the image of the boy slipped from my mind. I let myself lean back and enjoy my remaining time with Riku. Still, the boy appeared in my dreams, and whenever I woke up to Riku kissing me good morning, I felt a sickly, sinking feeling in my stomach. Like something was very wrong. But I ignored it and immersed myself in the feeling I'd always felt with Riku, ever since the hill. Safety. Caring. And love.


	29. Agoraphobe part IX

Trip Down Popcorn Lane

Kairi arrived in five quick minutes that felt like ten long lifetimes. As I've said before, I strongly dislike being on my own.

At first, after running through everything she'd told me and the discomfort I'd felt, I thought about not calling her over and trying to tough it out. But I knew I couldn't do that, and it wasn't her fault Riku was such a scandal. Besides, she seemed like a pretty cool person. Almost like a friend.

She seemed surprised when I yanked the front door open before she could knock. She laughed it off, though, stepped inside, and whistled.

"Big place you've got here. How do you pay for it?" she asked.

"Government," I answered curtly. I didn't feel like telling her about Caleb, and she seemed to sense my discomfort with the subject, so she changed it.

"So?" she asked.

"So, what?"

"_So_, what do you think? This is my first time in years wearing something other than those damned itchy gypsy clothes."

I took a good look at her for the first time, and, indeed, she was wearing normal clothes. A light pink camisole and white-washed skinny jeans. They looked very nice on her, albeit a bit unseasonal for mid-autumn.

"Very cute. I approve, Miss Gypsy."

She nudged me playfully in the ribs and wandered around the foyer until she suddenly kicked open my door with a screech.

"Hiiiii-ya!" she screamed. I jumped in surprise and confusion, and then burst out in laughter.

"What was _that_?" I asked between my loud guffaws.

"_That_, my dear, was my ninja impersonation. You can't be a gypsy for all your life, you know." She winked and set her rolled-up sleeping bag in Riku's old space next to my bed.

"You're one odd person," I said.

"So are you, Miss Groovy. But then, I guess that's just for the better, eh?" She smiled, reached into her bag, and pulled out a few silver disks I vaguely recognized as DVDs.

"Got a DVD player around here?"

"Yeah. It's in the living room." _The living room you never go into._

"Wonderful. You get the popped corn; I'll set the movie up." She turned to leave the room before she spun around on one heel to face me again. "Exactly _where _is the living room?"

I laughed and pointed down the hallway. She nodded and all-but-ran to the den. I took my time, strolling slowly along the walk way to the kitchen, which over looked the living room through a cut-off in the wall. I cringed when I saw Kairi standing in the middle of the room, mouth agape, fingers barely clutching onto the disks she held.

Although Caleb and my mother had been killed in the kitchen, the hardest room to enter was the den. There, memories ran abundant, like little ghosts seeking refuge in the stale air. I could almost see him running across the floor in front of the television, could almost hear him trying to make airplane noises, and laughing when Dad scooped him up in a big hug right before he was about to knock over some precious vase. We spent most of our time there, and it haunted me like a wonderful nightmare of a beautiful other life. Therefore, when I'd gathered the strength to crawl out of my room, I'd gotten extra sheets from the linen closet next to my bedroom and used them to cover up everything in sight. I couldn't bring myself to take the pictures down, so I settled for pulling small pillow cases over them. And now Kairi was staring at it all, trying to fathom why in the world the living room seemed to be the most dead in the whole house.

She turned around, not surprised to see me watching her over the counter, and asked,

"Why did you cover everything up?"

I turned around to dig in the pantry for some popcorn and answered over my shoulder,

"Memories. You can take the covers off the television and the couch, but nothing else, please."

I sensed her nod of understanding and heard her kneel on the floor, trying to take the sheets off the DVD player. I sighed and pushed a bag of old apples long-rotten aside and found the elusive popcorn box. Cheering silently that something seemed to be going my way for once, I couldn't suppress the groan that slipped through my lips when I discovered it was empty.

I got off my knees and, with the box in hand, walked into the den to tell Kairi of our misfortune.

"What's wrong? Couldn't figure out how to open it?" she joked, putting her hands on her hips. I knew she was kidding and decided to ignore the latter comment.

"We're all out. Nothing but dust." I flipped the box over to accentuate my meaning, smiling slightly when a bit of actual dust fell out and landed on the perfect, cream carpet.

"Aw man. Well, we can always get more. I'm _sure _Rita's got some in her store."

"Rita?" I asked, curious. I'd never met anyone named Rita, and I knew everyone in town before I'd shut myself in. Then again, I didn't know Kairi was here, either.

"Yeah. She's my elder sister. Runs a store here, just south of the 'Square. She's the only reason Lido takes the circus here anymore. He's got a thing for her," Kairi answered, smiling widely.

"Who's Lido?"

"The Ringmaster. Jeez, Nami. Don't you go to circuses anymore? Scratch that, stupid question. Anywho, do you want to get some popcorn from Rita? I'm sure she'll give us a discount." Kairi battered her eyelashes, trying to look innocent. I narrowed my eyes, suspicious.

"You're not up to something, are you?"

"Who, me? Oh, no, Nami. I'd _never _try anything on you," Kairi responded, hand fluttering to her heart in feint shock. I shrugged and let it go. But, almost imperceptibly, I could hear her mutter behind me,

"But Fate _would_."

* * *

The walk to the Town Square was long, but Kairi chatted it away, her mouth like a motor. It was entertaining to hear the latest gossip on everyone in town, but it still made me sick to my stomach to think about the last time she'd gossiped to me.

We reached it in due time, the clock tower just striking half past noon. But apparently, "just south" of the 'Square was more than I thought, because soon we were trudging along the outskirts, reaching the dirt roads again.

"There," Kairi said, stopping me. She hadn't broken a sweat. "There's Rita." She pointed to a small, slightly-dingy shop made mostly of wood. It looked like a relic from the olden days, when cars were as impossible as telepathy, and everyone either had a southern or New York accent. Kairi grabbed my hand and practically dragged me into the shop, where we came across a young woman, about twenty-three, with Kairi's exact shade of red hair and emerald green eyes, legs propped up on the front counter, reading a magazine and popping her orange gum.

"Hey, Kai," the woman said without looking up, turning a page in her magazine. Her pierced eyebrow went up in surprise, and she quickly closed the magazine and slammed it down on the counter, as well as her sandaled feet on the floor. Apparently dressing for summer, despite whatever season it was, was a family thing.

"What's up...? Who's your friend?" she asked, noticing me for the first time. Her deep green gaze was hard to look away from, but I managed to tear my eyes away from her face and concentrate on the clock above her head.

"Ri, this is my friend Namine. Her boyfriend is away at some family-type thing, so we're having a sleep over at her place. Have any extra popcorn?" Kairi asked, gripping my shoulders to keep me from running off. She always seemed to sense when I was nervous.

I wanted to correct her, that Riku was _not_ my boyfriend, thank you very much, but I knew it wouldn't do anything, so I just kept my mouth shut.

"Sure, I've got a bag right here." Rita reached into a drawer on her side of the counter and pulled out the popcorn, handing it to Kairi.

"Thanks, Sis."

"No problem. And Kai? Next time? Bring Lido with you, too. I'm just dying to show him my shop," Rita said. Her imposing demeanor suddenly slipped away as her mouth spread into a foolish grin. It was all I could do to keep from laughing as Kairi pulled me out of the shop, clutching the bag.

"I _told_ you they had a thing for each other!" Kairi exclaimed as soon as we were back on the cobblestone. I giggled, feeling childish and light-headed. Maybe I should've drunk some more water before we left…

We walked back towards the 'Square, Kairi reminiscing with me about all the circus performances, the tricks some audience members try to pull, the cute stage attendant with "gravity-defying hair". We were just passing the bench where Riku had brought me on my first visit here what seemed like ages ago when suddenly I heard a loud holler behind me. Kairi stepped aside, nearly smacking into a tree, as I was run down by a familiar-looking skateboard.

"Ouch…" I muttered, still too shocked to feel the real pain. Soon, though, it washed upon me, its epicenter in my left ankle.

"Ow! Shit!" I yelled, clutching my ankle. It was twisted to the side and had been smashed between my thigh and the concrete. It wasn't broken, I was sure, but it was definitely sprained.

"Oh, God, I'm so sorry!" The most wonderful voice reached my ears, and I felt the pain fade away instantly. I twisted my head back and saw the spiked-haired boy sitting on the concrete, pushing his skateboard away so he could crawl closer to me.

"Are you okay?" I asked. The question slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it, and I felt the blood rush to my face at the shocked look on his face. He burst out laughing, and coughed out,

"I'm… fine. But shouldn't I… be the one asking that question?"

"Huh?" I felt every inch the dumb blonde at that moment. This day just kept getting worse and worse.

But the boy had stopped laughing and pointed to my twisted ankle. "Your foot. Looks like it's hurt."

I shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant; tough. I tried to get up, but of course my ankle wouldn't support me, and I came tumbling down. I thought I'd smack my head on the sidewalk, but suddenly a pair of strong, toned arms caught me under my knees and shoulders. I gasped in surprise as I looked up and saw a pair of amused blue eyes shining down at me.

"Yeah. It's definitely sprained," he said, lifting me onto the bench. He still didn't let me go, though, and I felt as warm inside as I used to with Riku.

"I guess… I really don't feel anything, though…" I lied. He smiled, propped me onto his lap boldly, and whispered into my ear,

"I'm Roxas. And you, my beautiful lady, are?"

_He called me beautiful…_

"Na-Namine. People usually call me Nami, though," I stuttered. I was terribly frightened and perfectly calm at the same time. This boy was driving me crazy.

"Nami. Pretty name." He gently shoved me off him and got up.

"Well, I've got to go now, if you don't mind. Places to go, people to knock down."

Before he could walk away, Kairi seemed to come out of nowhere, both appearing to be talking to me and conveniently blocking Roxas's way.

"Hey Nami. Remember that cute stage worker I told you about?" I nodded. "Well, he asked me out on a date! We'll be seeing a movie later today. I was hoping you wouldn't mind being alone for a few hours, but if you do, I'll cancel and reschedule for another time…"

The look in her eyes said it all; I sighed and responded,

"It's fine. Go on; have fun. But you _have _to tell me _everything_ that happened afterwards."

Kairi squealed and hugged me tight, putting strain on my ankle. I seethed through my teeth and she let go, but she was still jumping up and down in excitement.

"Oh, thank you Nami! Thank you thank you thank you! I just hope you won't be terribly lonely…" I smiled a little inside as I caught on her feint. I had no doubt she actually had a date with the handsome stage worker tonight, but I knew what she was playing at.

Roxas stood up straight at the word _lonely_, turned back to face me, and smiled.

"Do you think you'd mind spending the evening with me?" he asked, his glorious eyes gleaming. My breath caught in my throat, taking away my ability to talk. Kairi seemed to sense this, because she responded,

"Oh, I'm sure she wouldn't! Namine hates being on her own; don't you?"

I could only gulp and nod. Roxas's smile grew wider, and he stepped forward and swept me up again, bridal style, like Riku used to do. He set his skateboard down on the sidewalk and stepped on it, making us rock back and forth, but I wasn't scared. For some reason, I trusted him.

"After all, company is the least I can give after hurting your ankle that way. Just tell me where to go; I promise I won't let you fall."

Kairi winked at me and tossed me the popcorn bag, which I'd nearly forgotten, and just barely managed to catch.

"See you kids later," she said, walking toward the huge theater you could see from here. I wouldn't be surprised if she'd actually planned this whole thing out.

Roxas rode smoothly across the cobblestone streets, but had a little trouble when we reached the trail off the concrete. He managed to glide across huge tree roots, though, and never once did he falter. When we got to my house, he stepped off the board and kicked it up, carrying me with one arm and holding the board in the other. He really was a wonder man.

"Nice place you've got here," he commented, kicking the door closed behind him. I smiled slightly at the déjà vu of what Kairi'd said, but it was clouded by the memory of when Riku had done the exact same thing nearly a month ago.

"Thanks," I said. "Um, my room is the first door on the left."

He smiled. "Great to know. But weren't you going to watch a movie? I'd hate to interrupt your plans."

I didn't really feel like watching a movie now, with him here, but I felt I had little choice in the matter as he set me down on the couch and went to the kitchen to pop the popcorn. He didn't look at all shocked at the coverings in the living room, and he somehow seemed to know where everything was. But maybe he was just magic like that.

He came back a few minutes later, holding a single large bowl of yellow stuff I recognized to be the popcorn. He saw my face scrunch up when I saw it and smiled amusedly.

"What? Don't like popcorn?"

I shrugged. "I haven't had it in a while. I forgot it looked like that."

He laughed; probably the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard. "Just try it. I promise you'll like it."

Roxas set the bowl down on the table, turned on the television and DVD player, picked one of the DVDs and slipped it in.

He sat next to me on the couch, lying down so his legs took up most of the space, and pulled me back onto his lap, like he'd done at the park, resting my head between his shoulder and the couch.

_He's so… touchy. Confident, _I thought. The thing that both excited me and disturbed me was I liked it.

He reached over to the table to get the bowl, set it in my lap, and placed one of my hands in the bowl. I smiled and popped one of the pieces in my bowl and started to chew, surprising myself yet again by how much I enjoyed it.

"So," Roxas said after the movie had been on for a good fifteen minutes; I was too distracted by the boy lying under me to pay attention to what was going on. "Tell me about yourself."

I smiled, remembering the day I met Kairi in her tent, and told him pretty much what I had told her. Leaving out Riku, of course. I wasn't so sure what he would think about that.

And, for some reason, when it came to talking about Caleb, I just couldn't do it.

"I…err… My family died when I was a child. They had a fund set up for me," I lied, explaining to him why I was living on my own. He sighed.

"That sucks."

"Yeah. I guess. But life's alright, you know? Just have to keep living i…" The rest of my sentence was interrupted by a sudden fierce, almost angry kiss, ravaging my mouth, absolutely nothing like Riku's kisses. His lips crushed against mine, but they were still so soft... I found myself forgetting the world, leaving it all behind, for a better place, where sweet spiked-blonde angels lived…


	30. Agoraphobe part X

**A/N: This chapter and the following ones will remain in Riku's POV until further notice.**

The taxi driver was silent for the remaining of the ride to the airport, not seeming to care about anything but making sure his cigar didn't get wet in the rain cloud that had gathered over it. I smiled grimly, sure this was a teasing of fate.

The flight to the city where Mother lived was a long one, taking about seven hours to get there by air. Each second I thought about Namine, seeing her everywhere. Her face was in the clouds; her scent filled the passenger cabin; this one little girl had almost the exact same shade of blue in her eyes…

I sighed. She was driving me crazy, and it wasn't even a day into leaving her. How could I live through four whole days?

Of course, Mother's death affected me, but it seemed just a small complication in the grand scheme of Namine. I needed to make her mine; going to a near-stranger's funeral in a far-off land was hardly the best flirting strategy.

_Still,_ I thought, _they always say 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder'…_

I wondered if Namine was thinking of me. She acted a little strange the last few days I was with her- especially at the fair. And when that kid bumped into her...

Well. She was different.

Not that I minded. She'd always be her wonderful self to me.

_But what if you never really knew her? _I pushed that thought away and focused on the impending legal doom that lay in store for me on the ground. So far, what I'd been able to find out is my mother was a big-shot lawyer who defended some guilty clients. And she was rolling in money. The latter had been hard to hear, since I'd always assumed she'd run off because of insufficient funds.

The people who contacted me didn't say she was murdered, but I could tell by her age and stature. Also, they told me the police would be waiting at her old office to talk to me about her death. I didn't think police usually gave grief counseling.

It ashamed me to realize it, but I really didn't care whether she'd been murdered or not. Namine was the most important thing in the world. Much more important than a stranger who was only tied to me by blood.

When we got to the airport, I wasn't expecting someone to pick me up. I figured I'd just call another taxi or something. But, of course, my mother's lawyers were waiting in a limo on the curb, looking stuffy and rich in their designer suits and leather briefcases. I felt terribly out of place as I climbed in the back and seated myself next to the door, so I could escape easily if need be.

"Hello, Mister-"

"Call me Riku," I interrupted. I hated it when people called me by my last name

"Right. Well," the lawyer in the middle of the seat across from me said, adjusting his jacket. I was certain he wasn't used to being interrupted, but I really couldn't care less. "Riku, it's obvious we're here to discuss what's happened to your mother." He paused, probably waiting for some form of emotion to come from me, but I kept my face stony and clean. "The police believe she was pushed out the window of her business building. They are waiting in her old room as we speak, looking for evidence. Riku, if you know anyone who'd have a grudge against her, or have any possible theories-"

"Look," I said, interrupting again. "I don't know much about my mother. She left when I was a kid. But if she was such a huge lawyer, chances are someone's gonna have a bone to pick."

The man looked at me in shock and nervously fiddled with the handkerchief peeking out of his suit's front pocket.

"Well, um, we're very sorry you feel that way. But if you have any questions or possible suspects, please don't be afraid to contact us. If not, then, I guess we'll see you at the funeral." He smiled that fake smile politicians always wore, the 'the-world-will-be-perfect-if-you-vote-for-me, but-I-still-won't-like-you' smile. It brought back memories of when my mother used to give me that patronizing look. I swallowed a rock down my throat and looked out the window at the passing landscape.

Where my mother lived was everything you'd expect a successful city to be: tall skyscrapers scratching the clouds; pedestrians littering the sidewalks like little ants; moody businessmen and –women everywhere, clutching their various packages and coffee. It looked dreadful.

The limo finally stopped in front of a large building, appearing to be made totally of glass. The lawyer who'd talked to me the way there smiled again at my shocked expression and said,

"This is where your mother's apartment is. She was hardly ever here, though, so it'll be easy to adjust to. That is, if you choose to. Her room is on the top floor, in the very center. I suggest you take the elevator; the stairs are what marathon runners practice on."

I guessed the last comment was an attempt at a joke, but I wasn't seeing it. I was too distracted by the huge building looming in front of me. The lawyer kept talking, though.

"Just go to the front desk and mention your mother's name. They'll take you right up and give you the keys. They are informed of your arrival, so there will be no questions asked."

I was astonished. Even in death, my mother got star treatment. Who knew abandoning your family could put you so well off?

I got out of the limo wordlessly, waving off the workers who were about to grab my bag from the trunk. If I had to stay here for three and a half more days, I was doing it on my own. As much as I could, that is.

About two seconds after I entered the doorway, two smiling bellhops came up to me, holding a luggage cart. I told the head bellhop, marked by her golden cap, I would carry my own luggage. She turned to the other bellhop and gave him a slightly-withering look. He bowed quickly and rushed the cart away.

"Come with me," the remaining bellhop said, smile never faltering. I had to admit, it looked kind of creepy. She swept off toward the golden elevators, and when she went in, everyone in there got out and waited for the next one. I was so shocked it took me a couple of seconds to gather myself enough to realize she meant for me to get in with her. She tugged on my elbow, and my feet followed brainlessly.

"Why did they do that?" I asked. It bothered me.

The bellhop just kept on smiling. "Do what?"

"Walked out of the elevator when you came in."

"Everyone always did that for Mrs. Sullivan, may her soul rest in peace," the bellhop explained. The following cross on her chest looked weird with her perpetual grin.

"Oh." We said nothing for the rest of the elevator ride, which seemed to drag on for hours. I was relieved when the door binged open and I could finally get some space. I was just a little bit claustrophobic.

The bellhop turned to me and handed me a pair of keys. I frowned in confusion.

"Which room is mine?" I asked.

"The whole floor," she answered. Her smile became a little more genuine as she saw my eyes go as large as disks.

"T-the _whole floor_?" I stuttered. She nodded and added,

"There are several bedrooms in Mrs. Sullivan's apartment; you are free to choose whichever you like. There is a phone stationed in each room, in case you feel the need to call upon us. Have a good day, sir." She curtsied and hurried out of the room, the elevator pinging to announce itself immediately after she pushed the down button, although there had been many people crawling about the lobby. I closed my hand around the set of keys and stuffed them in my back pocket.

Mother's "apartment" was more of a suite- a hotel within an apartment building so elegant it has no right to be called an apartment and every right to be called a hotel. There was a huge crystal chandelier in the center and comparatively little ones strewn all about the main room. The whole building was just a huge glass cylinder, so the golden mini-staircase accompanying the dip in the main room wrapped all around, separating at even intervals to create an entree way for the other doors. There were six doors, all of them looking exactly the same- golden knob and styling on the wood with a small card hanging on the knob declaring that room's number. I was perfectly awed.

I drifted to the first door on my left and pushed on the door; it swung open in ease, the hinges obviously well-oiled despite the apparent lack of life. Inside was a large armoire, a gargantuan bed, and a closet at least half the size of the room. I backed out of that room, carefully closing the door behind me.

It took me at least fifteen minutes to make my way around the room and check which bedrooms held what. Finally, behind the fifth door, I found a simple room: blue-ish-white walls, a small bed, and a simple door leading to a simple closet. It was still a little fancier than what I was used to, but it would do.

After I got settled, I decided to do a little poking around in the main room, looking for something to entertain me. I felt kind of bad that I wasn't overwhelmed with grief as I had been after the news had been delivered, but there wasn't anything I could do about it. Why make myself purposely miserable?

Of course, I was already guilty of that. Leaving Twilight Town- and not to mention, Namine- punched a crater into my heart as large as the chandelier dangling above my head.

I sighed and drifted over to the over-furnished ottoman chair right across from the huge television that had come down after I accidentally pressed a button on the arm. It immediately switched on, and I realized I was watching the news.

"_Top-dog lawyer Janet Sullivan died this week, her body found by alarmed employees working in her business building several feet away from the pool. The police say she might've been pushed out her window, but with no new leads, several officers have confessed to wondering if it was no more than a suicide…"_

I hmphed indignantly and turned the television off. _Suicide. _Would she really do that?

Not like I would know.

* * *

The next three days were pretty low-key, consisting of me throwing a remote at the television, breaking the screen, endless maids and bellhops checking in on me, gourmet food that made me puke, and missing Namine more than the world. Apparently my mother's lawyers had already done all the legal work that made my head spin, so all I had to do was go to the funeral and loot whatever she'd left me.

God, I hated lawyers.

When the day of the funeral loomed over me like a dark cloud, I woke up with unexpected tears running down my face.

I'd had my worst dream in a while. It wasn't anything like a typical nightmare- no ghosts, no creepy voices, no death- but it scared me so horribly I… I couldn't fathom it.

Namine was at the house. She was cooking something that looked like eggs, and some guy comes from behind her and wraps his arms around her. The room turned red, but they didn't seem to care. She leaned into his chest while he whispered something in her ear. She giggled and he turned the fire off on the stove. They were walking toward her bedroom when suddenly the scene changed.

She was in the kitchen again, but this time she was tied to one of the chairs. She was gagged and tears were running down her cheeks. The guy who'd been hugging her was there, holding a knife. It was short, but sharp. Your typical dagger.

When she saw the knife/dagger, her eyes went wide with fear and she started tugging against the ropes. I could hear her muffled screams as he trudged closer to her and dragged the blade down her arm, sprouting a long, terrifying line of blood. He was about to sever one of her fingers when I woke up.

I lay on the bed, shivering, although it wasn't the least bit cold. Who was that guy? And why did he want to hurt my Namine?

Remembering the day, I shook off the dream and shoved it into the back of my head. I'd worry about it later.

After I'd showered and was dressed in my only suit- black, of course- one of the maids came up to inform me that my limo was waiting outside the apartment.

_Limo? _Surely, they must be mistaken…

But, of course, when I looked out the window, the same limo that'd escorted me here was waiting in the lot. I thought I could even see the thinning hair of the lawyers through the open sun roof. I groaned.

"Is something wrong, Mr. Sullivan?" the maid asked, looking concerned.

"No, no. Just… I'll be down in a minute." The maid nodded and exited the room.

I sighed and went back in my borrowed room to get my bags. I was leaving this place as soon as possible, even if that meant I had to spend my day with lawyers.

The lawyer who'd talked to me the last time I rode in the limo was waiting in the lobby. I realized I hadn't even bothered to learn his name.

_Ah, well, _I thought. _It doesn't really matter, anyway._

The ride to the cemetery was silent all the way through. It surprised me, but then I saw the tears in the lawyers' eyes. I guessed they'd miss their number-one employer.

There was a short service to be held in a small chapel just outside the graveyard. It was plenty long to me, though, and the dust in the air irritated my eyes so much I found myself wiping at them. Finally, the priest closed his prayer book and everyone there got up to leave. Apparently, no one wanted to stick around for the burial.

I was about to leave, myself, but then the lawyers caught my eye and I had to follow them to her new grave.

It was about six feet deep (aren't they all?) and had an array of flowers bordering the hole. When the workmen lowered the coffin in, most the flowers fell in and were crushed, but I figured that was just as well. Mother was allergic to pollen, anyway.

"Any last words, Riku?" the main lawyer asked. It sounded like an odd work choice to me, but I shrugged it off.

"Not really. I didn't know her that well."

"What a shame. Anyway, here's the will," he said, handing me a piece of fancy-looking paper.

I raised my eyebrow. "Weren't you supposed to read this aloud at the service?"

He smiled. It looked odd on his usually-expressionless face. "Well, it's all for you. We thought there was no point."

"Oh… Wait a minute- did you say _all_ of it? _Everything_?" I asked, unbelieving.

His creepy smile got wider. "Yes. She left you everything- the houses, the cars, the money. Everything."

I was rich. I could stay here if I wanted to. Or anywhere else.

I shook my head. "No," I said.

He looked surprised. "Sorry?"

"No. I won't take it. The law can have the houses and everything else. I'll put the money into a few funds, but all else will be donated. I have no use for everything."

"If-If you wish, Sir," the lawyer said, still flustered.

"I do. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a plane to catch."

And with those words, I turned my back on my mother and her fancy lawyers and headed back home.


	31. Agoraphobe part XI

**A/N: Warning for all you kiddies out there. Bad language and suggestive themes.**

It's a Hard Life

I don't I'd ever felt the kind of joy I did when I stepped off that plane. It was as if I'd been in some nightmarish other world and was just now returning home, which was exactly how it was.

I got my bag at the terminal and walked around, looking for Namine among the mass of strangers looking for their family and friends, but was disappointed when I saw Kairi there instead, her flip-flopped foot tapping against the linoleum in impatience.

"Hey, lover boy. You're home!" she said after she'd noticed me.

"Hey," I greeted her, feeling a little down. She obviously noticed something was wrong, but she shrugged and asked me,

"How was the funeral?"

"Wonderful. Lawyers crawling everywhere. Money thrown at me for no real reason. Cold graveyards. It was a beautiful experience."

She chuckled. "That's what you get when a rich relative dies. Anyway, Nami's waiting for you at the house."

"Why couldn't she come?" I asked. I detected something in her facial expression- bitterness, maybe?

"She had, uh… other obligations."

I decided not to find out what those were. I was five minutes off the plane and already my joy was fading away. We got in a taxi with the same driver I'd had last time, muttering about how he was missing his poker game and lighting a new cigar. Apparently, nothing much had changed.

Except I felt it. Even before I entered the house, I felt the change sweeping over me like an airborne disease.

Kairi said she'd wait outside- "I need a few new flowers for the Fortune tent, anyway,"- and I knocked on the door, anticipation welling up in me like a poisonous balloon.

"Nami?" I called after there was no answer. I shrugged and opened the door. It was unlocked.

The house was pretty much the same. Broken mirrors hanging on the cream walls, everything clean as a whistle apart from several cobwebs in the corners. But there was something wrong- a new scent, like old, expensive cologne.

"Nami? You here?" I called out again. I opened her door and dropped my suitcase on my toes in surprise when I saw what was inside.

It was Namine, with that kid from my dream. They were lying on her bed with their arms around each other, the sheets crumpled around them. They looked like they were sleeping.

Did I mention they were naked?

"Holy shit…" I said, stunned. My heart felt like it'd been ripped out and stomped on by an army.

Namine, ever the light sleeper, raised her head off the guy's chest and looked at me right in the eye. She looked as surprised as I felt.

"Riku…" she murmured, her hair a blonde bird's nest on top of her head. She ran her fingers through it and sat up, wrapping a sheet around her body. The guy slept on, oblivious.

"What the hell?" I all-but-shouted. She looked at the boy nervously, expecting him to wake up, but he let out a light snore and turned on his side, pulling the blanket across him.

"Riku, let's talk about this outside…" Her voice was soft and sad, but I just couldn't get over what I'd seen. Still, I couldn't refuse her, so I stepped outside into the foyer and waited while she dressed.

How could she do this to me? I mean, it wasn't like we were dating, but still. I felt anger, hurt, betrayal, and a ton of other emotions I couldn't indentify wash over me. Suffocate me.

When Namine came out, she was running a golden comb through her hair and slipping her shoes on.

"Let's take a walk," she said. I nodded, unable to speak, as she put the comb on the little table next to the door and walked outside. I followed her.

We were silent for a while, not holding hands for once. I looked closer at her and swore I could see red rims around her eyes, like she'd been crying.

"Who is he?" I finally asked. My voice sounded horrible. I felt her shrug next to me.

"His name's Roxas. And he's a… friend."

"A friend? You'd sleep with a _friend_?"

"I… I guess not. We just really like each other. I'm sorry."

I turned to her and stared right into her brilliant blue eyes. I really didn't like hurting her, but I was so angry I could kick that Roxas guy's arse all the way to Mother's apartment.

"Don't be sorry to me. It's not like I own you or anything. It's not like I sacrificed everything just to help you get out of that damn house. It's not like _I loved you_!" I yelled, my hoarse voice getting louder with each word. Her eyes widened and her mouth popped open in surprise.

"You… loved me?" she asked, incredulous.

"Yes. I did. But now I see that means nothing. Thanks for being such a great friend." I spat at her feet, which was probably a bit too much, but I didn't really care. I stormed off toward the large hill that I now recognized as our Sunset Hill.

I laughed aloud; it was a bitter, maniacal sound. Of course I would end up back here. Just when my world was falling down around me, the Universe still had to rub it in my face.

_Ha-ha, _I imagined her saying. _You lost her to a silly punk. Lame!_

I climbed the hill and sat on the top, where Nami and I had gone so long ago. I hadn't realized she hadn't left until I heard the crunch of leaves behind me and felt her sit down next to me.

"Riku, I… I really _am _sorry. I didn't want to hurt you. But, I guess it's too late for that. If only you'd told me earlier…" she whispered. I nearly punched a rock out of frustration when I realized I was still hanging on to every word she said.

"It wouldn't have made any difference."

"Says who? I did like you, Riku. I liked you a lot. But when you left, and Roxas came around… I was hooked."

"Whatever." I turned my body to face away from her. I didn't want to hear any more about how I lost the best girl in the universe to a stranger. I don't know how long she waited there, but eventually she got up and walked away.

Eventually, I fell asleep, my head resting on the rock behind me. My dreams weren't any more merciful than reality.

It was the same one I'd had last night, only this time I knew who the guy was. I clenched my teeth together, only to hiss in pain when I clamped them on my tongue. This time the room changed colors rapidly, like a kaleidoscope, and it shook back and forth like it was on a ship.

When the guy- who I now knew was Roxas- went to chop off her fingers, I didn't wake up. I screamed and thrashed around, but the dream me was nonexistent. I was just a cloud, just a bit of vapor in the atmosphere. I couldn't help her.

When he eventually went to cut her neck, I finally awoke in a cold sweat. I was still on the hill, and I had a bruise on my head from when I bumped it on the rock. It was deep in the night, the stars glittering over me. I tried getting up. I didn't know how long I'd been out, but I was sure Namine would be worried.

And then what had happened last time I was awake washed over me, and I fell to the ground again, sputtering out some kind of hysterical laugh that was a cry at the same time. My lungs felt like they were on fire, and when I saw the fresh blood covering the ground in front of me, my head spun like a washer machine and I was out like a light.

* * *

It was a while until I came to. Thank goodness, this time I didn't have any dreams, but that didn't do much to help the throbbing pain I felt when I woke up again.

This time it was early dawn, the sun just peaking over the horizon. I dragged my head off the ground, which felt like lead, and wiped the old blood off of my cheek. I had absolutely no idea why I'd coughed up blood, but I knew it couldn't be good. Whatever the cause, I had to get back to the house.

The first time I tried to get up, I fell over again and nearly cracked my head on the ground. The second time I went slower, but I still had to lean heavily on a detached root I'd found next to me, like a walking stick.

It took me longer than normal to get to the house, probably because it was hard to navigate through the many roots and weeds that littered the ground. By the time I got there, the sun was a quarter of the way across the sky, the storm clouds blocking most of its light. Namine was out on the porch, leaning on the door, sniffling into her handkerchief. She looked like she'd been crying again.

"Namine," I called out. I sounded like an old smoker, but she heard me anyway. She looked up and her smile nearly swept all the pain away, until I saw Roxas looking out the window at us.

"Riku. You're back. Where've you been so long?"

I shrugged and winced at the following pain I felt in my ribs. "I fell asleep on the hill."

"Oh. Why are you leaning on that stick? Are you hurt?" She came toward me, dropping her handkerchief on the ground. She touched her fingertips to my bloodied cheek lightly and I winced again. I felt sore all over.

"Blood… What happened?" she murmured. I leaned into her touch and very nearly purred, but then Roxas came outside. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the door where Nami had been. His blue eyes were cold as ice.

Not wanting to spark a fight in my condition, I stepped back from her and said,

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"But… the blood…"

Roxas uncrossed his arms and sauntered over to us. "I'm sure he's fine, Nami. Trust him. He's probably stronger than he looks." He slung his arm around her shoulder, and I shook off the need to rip his head off.

I stepped toward him, my hand outstretched. "Hey. I'm Riku."

He just glared back at me, petting Namine's hair.

"I know who you are," he said stonily. I bit back my anger and retracted my hand.

"Alright then." He turned back to the house, leading Namine.

"You can still live here if you want. Just don't expect to sleep in her room anymore," he added. I shrugged again and followed them inside and tried not to let it bother me too much when he let the door slam closed in my face.

Life went on like that for the next week; me sleeping in the living room; Roxas ignoring me and not letting Namine anywhere near me; lost in my own thoughts, my horrible dreams plaguing me. I was sure that they could hear me screaming each night, but I guess they didn't care. Or maybe he didn't let her care.

After I finally woke up from the dreams, I'd start coughing up blood again. Within days I had soaked several rags I'd found around the house. I was sure it couldn't be good, but it's not like I could bother Namine with it. I'd barely even spoken to her since I got home.

I was beginning to wish I'd stayed at Mother's apartment.

* * *

I admit it: I was extremely jealous.

I mean, how would you feel if everything you'd pitched your life on suddenly collapsed?

But this… this was too much. _Way _too much.

I didn't have much to speak of for personal possessions; I'd never needed them. Still, I took nearly an hour packing, the dust from the long-abandoned living room making my eyes water, like they had at my mother's funeral. I didn't want to leave, but it looked like I had no choice. Namine and I were never going to be together. Time to cut my losses and go home.

My suitcase felt like a lead weight as I shuffled toward the door, my heart hurting so much I was sure it would burst and I would suffocate on my own blood. Even if it didn't, I wasn't sure if I could live on my own. Namine was my life support now.

My ears perked up as I heard Namine's name being spoken by a low voice behind her closed door. I immediately felt a strong anger surge through me. That _kid_, that little _boy_, was stealing away everything I'd ever wanted. And now he was probably bragging to his friends about it. It took a few minutes before I could calm down enough to actually hear what Roxas was saying.

"Yes, yes, I've done it… No, she doesn't seem to know… I-… Listen, _Father_, I don't need any more of your damned lecturing! I can do this job on my own!" He slammed the phone down and my breath caught in my throat. I was certain that any minute he would come raging through the door and see me eavesdropping. Surprisingly, he didn't. There was a long pause, a few heavy, labored breaths, and then the phone's high-pitched ring permeated the stale air, making me nearly jump out of my socks. It was a few seconds before Roxas answered, and the ringing was replaced with his low voice.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me." There was a long pause before he spoke again.

"Things seem to be going pretty good. All according to the plan. There's just one problem; I think she's in love with someone else."

My ears prickled as blood rushed up to my face. Not only did I have _him_ to worry about- There had to be someone _else_?

"He's this guy who lives with her. He used to sleep in her room before I came along. She says he helped her get over her grief or something… No, I don't know his last name… Uh, something starting with an R. Ricky? That can't be right… Riku. Yeah. That's it."

I sighed in relief- so it was only between me and him. But still, how did his father know my name?

"Do you think it's the same person?... Well, of course, how many people have the name _Riku_…?" He chuckled a little. Was that bitterness I heard? "Don't worry, Father. I'm sure I'll figure something out. When will you be here?... This Friday? Good. By then we're bound to strike gold. Lord knows we've been trying enough times." Another half-hearted chuckle. He hung up, and I was barely able to hurry into the linen closet next to Namine's room and shut the door by the time he came out into the foyer.

His footsteps echoed in the empty hall, and I could hear my heart beating overtime. I was sure he was about to swing open the door and hit me with a stick or something, but he just sighed heavily and retreated back into Namine's room.

* * *

**A/N: Hey, whoever may be reading this story. My friend Blueberry Absinth and I are having a little friendly Namiku competition. We've decided to let you kiddies vote on whose Namiku oneshot is the best, via review. It doesn't matter on whose story you post your votes; just clearly define whose you liked more. The stories will be up… well, the next time we post a new story. At least by April 1. And the voting stops on April 10. So… Good morning!**


	32. Agoraphobe part XII

Dreamling Kisses

That night, I had a dream.

A different dream, of course. And possibly the worst one yet.

There was Roxas again, and this time Namine was nowhere near him. He was in her room and was talking to a man with dark brown hair and strange green eyes, almost like a cat's. The man held himself high in importance, made obvious by the way he naturally dominated the room, and for the first time I saw Roxas cowering.

"Is she with child yet?" the man asked. He was obviously talking about Namine, but why the hell would he care?

Roxas gulped and shook his head. "No such luck, Father. Maybe we should try another-"

"Nonsense!" the man barked. His face was a light shade of red, and I was pretty sure it wasn't of embarrassment. "She's the only one left in the family, and the closest tie to Cynthia. I kept her alive for a _reason_, boy."

_Kept her alive?! What's that supposed to mean?_

"But what if she's not able? What if something happened? She was in here a long time, you know."

"I know, I know. Maybe I should've kept her mother alive…"

My dream-self was so shocked I was surprised I didn't bolt awake, but the dream went on without disturbance.

"Ah well," the man continued, "Too late for that now. We'll just have to proceed as planned and hope she does conceive."

"Yes, Father. And, that boy I told you about…"

"What about him?"

"I think he may be a problem."

The man frowned, his slim eyebrows pushing together. "Why? He doesn't know, does he…?"

Roxas shook his head vehemently. "No, no. But he might get in the way when we take the child."

"Then kill him," the man suggested, as if this was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Wouldn't she be upset?"

"Kill her, too."

Roxas was silent for a moment. He bit his lip, obviously wanting to say more, but being too afraid to speak out.

"Alright, Father," he finally said, bowing his head in defeat. His father smiled without humor.

"You've become attached to her, haven't you?"

"No! I… Yeah. Very attached," Roxas confessed, turning red. I felt the anger and jealousy well up inside of me. I would've chopped his head off if this wasn't a dream, but it was, and for some reason I didn't want to end it.

"And you would be heartbroken if I killed her?" the man purred. Roxas nodded.

"Son?" Roxas looked up. "Did I ever tell you about Cynthia?"

Roxas looked confused. "Yeah. She was Namine's mom."

"She was much more than that. She was my lover. But she dumped me after I got stuck in jail when that _Sullivan _woman blew off my trial to spend time with her kid. That's why I killed her.

Anyway, Cynthia and I had dated in high school, but after she got pregnant with Namine, she left me. She left me for dead, son. And then she married that horrible prick of a man and I just couldn't contain my anger anymore. As soon as I got out of jail I found her and her family and demanded things. Jewels, money, anything I could get my hands on. But she wouldn't give me her daughter. No matter what I said, she just wouldn't give her up. So I snuck into her house and killed her. Her husband was the easiest one; just one stab to the heart and he was dead. Capturing Cynthia and not killing her had been hard, but I did it, and I did the same with her other child. Torturing him was fun; I could never truly describe what it felt like to be in control again, to have another worthless human writhing under my hands…

When the time came for Cynthia and her little boy to go, I did it quickly. I pulled out my favorite little silver gun- a gift from her, actually- and shot her right in the heart. Then I stabbed the boy in the neck and let him bleed to death.

But my job wasn't done. My daughter wasn't at the house that night. Even if she had been, I wouldn't have killed her. I would've trained her, like I've trained you. Instead, I've waited until she became of appropriate age, until I was sure she was in the peak of her child-bearing years. And that time is now. Roxas, you will play a very important part in this. I need my blood to run strong, pure."

By the end of his story, I was shocked into the next millennia. _Roxas's father _was the one who killed Namine's family? Who had caused her pain and suffering unlike anything I was sure I could imagine? Who was her _own father_?

Roxas just stood there for a while, probably just taking it in that the girl he'd been having sex with and- though the fact made me so angry I could kill- fell in love with was his half-sister. His father smiled lightly and placed a hand on his son's shoulder.

"You understand the need for pure blood, don't you?"

Roxas nodded sullenly. "I do. And may-maybe it'd be best if we did kill her after the child was born."

His father just kept on smiling while the room bled all of its color until everything was red. I lunged for his throat, but was interrupted by a sudden return to reality. I was gripping a lamp in both my hands, looking like I was trying to strangle it.

Overcome by a sudden wave of emotions, I got up from the bed I'd made from the living room couch, rushed to the kitchen sink, and coughed up a sea of blood.

* * *

It was dawn when I woke up again, and I was collapsed on the ground by the sink. My mouth and shirt were still stained red, and the sink, too. I knew I should get up and clean everything, but I just couldn't make my legs move. They were like sticks of useless jelly. I crawled painstakingly toward the kitchen chair and pulled myself onto it. I immediately passed out.

At about nine, I was shaken awake by small but firm hands.

"Riku!" a shrill voice yelled. I jerked awake. It took me a few minutes to take in the beautiful face before me.

"Namine?" I slurred. Her face was blurred, and the room was spinning, but I was sure I could recognize that voice anywhere.

"Oh, Riku, you're awake! Thank goodness. I was so worried you weren't going to wake up again," Namine cried, hugging the breath out of me and probably getting blood all over herself. I muttered something real intelligent like "Yeah hmm" while she rocked me back and forth. It was an odd sensation, being held by her instead of the other way around. I liked it.

After a while she pulled me away, but still held me by my shoulders. She was smiling broadly and looked as if she'd just won the greatest prize in the world.

"What happened?" I asked, though I was sure I slurred the question into incomprehension.

"I just came in here a couple of hours ago and you were passed out on the table. There's blood everywhere! Oh, Riku I was so _scared_… Are you alright? What a stupid question, of course you're not alright. Should I take you to the doctor? I should, shouldn't I? Can you walk?" She shot out questions at me faster than I could even take them in, but she didn't seem to be paying attention. She'd run off to grab the old-fashioned, dusty white phone that hung on the hall, and was now furiously pressing numbers. "I guess I'll have to demand the doctor come over here. He usually doesn't, but I'm sure this will count as an emergency…" Suddenly, she stopped dialing and put the phone back on its cradle. Her blue orbs looked at me curiously, and I dreaded the question she would inevitably ask next.

"Riku… How long has this been going on?" Her voice was soft, almost as if I was a child. I certainly felt like one.

"Since I came home from the funeral." I was careful not to say, _since I saw you and Roxas in bed together_.

Namine sighed softly, like I was a young child grinning abashedly at her after I broke something old and expensive. She fell limply into the chair next to me and propped her head up on her elbow.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she whispered. I could feel her pain seeping through the words, and it stung me.

"I… I didn't think Roxas would let you care. I didn't want to worry you," I answered truthfully. I flinched when she shot me a tortured, bloodshot look.

"Riku," she spoke very slowly, carefully enunciating each word, "Roxas or no Roxas, I will always lo-" she cleared her throat, "_care for _you. No matter what. I need to know if you're hurting, or if you're sick, or if you've only stubbed your damn toe. _I need to know_."

I felt my weak heart crawl up in my throat, and I nodded quickly in agreement. The action made the room spin again. Not like I could care, though- I was too focused on what she'd almost said. _I will always lo… love? _Could she possibly love me?

For a second, the very hint that she might actually _feel_ for me washed away all of my pain, and I felt a warm glow radiating inside of me. Then the room turned a violent shade of vermillion, and it was all I could do to keep from retching right then and there.

"That's it," Namine said, standing up. "I'm calling the doctor."

"What… about… Roxas?" I coughed out between dry heaves.

"To hell with Roxas," she snapped. I was both surprised and pleased to hear it come out of her mouth, but I knew it wouldn't last long.

Her slim fingers dialed the seven digits faster than my eye could see, and had her ear to the phone in a matter of seconds. She had a determined look on her face, one that I recognized immediately, although I had never seen it on her.

My mother always had that look.

Soon, Namine was spitting out words incomprehensible to my slow, exhausted mind. I slumped farther onto the table, resting my head on my arms and blocking out any light. I know knew how Namine felt when she woke up from that hangover so long ago…

What seemed like seconds later, although it was probably minutes, I felt a soft touch at the nape of my neck. I slowly raised my head, learning from experience not to make any sudden movements, and nearly jumped out of my seat at the sight of Namine's pursed lips coming toward me. I kept still and she kissed my forehead softly.

"I'm sorry I didn't know. I'm sorry you thought I didn't care," she murmured. I pulled her onto my lap and wound my arms around her waist, like I used to do. She leaned into my chest; it felt like the most natural thing in the world.

"It's okay," I tried to say before she silenced me by placing a feather-soft finger on my lips.

"It's not okay. Riku, the doctor said you could have tuberculosis. Do you know how many people have died because of that? If I hadn't reported it now, it may have been too late for the treatment to do anything. It might be too late right now! I-I don't know what I'd do if you died. I…" She slumped against me, resting her chin on my shoulder bone, and I held her tighter.

"Don't worry. No one's dying. We may have cut it a little close, but hey, at least I'm still here," I said, smoothing her hair down like she was a child and chuckling a little. If only this could be real- truly real.

She leaned away from me and I released my grip on her waist, but she tugging my arms tighter around her, looking me straight in the eye.

We didn't need any words to be exchanged. We gazed in each other's eyes for a moment, then simultaneously inched forward, head tilted, eyes closed, heart opened, and…

Kissed.


	33. Agoraphobe part XIII

Damn Interruptions

Sure, we'd kissed before, but nothing like this. I was able to really _taste _her, to probe and experiment with the soft skin under my hands. And it was absolutely marvelous.

That is, until the Damned Doctor barged in, out of breath probably from riding his bicycle from the doctor's office to here, his white coat stained and his stethoscope slipping off his neck. He slammed the back door shut behind him and Namine jumped back in surprise and I inwardly scowled at the intruder. I'd totally forgotten the pain I was in, and the condition I had, but then I didn't really care.

"Oh, uhm, Mister, um, Sullivan, isn't it?" the doctor stuttered. He was young- probably in his late twenties- and was obviously flustered. I cursed emptily inside my head. Just when I finally had her!

"Yes, he's Riku," Namine answered, sensing my anger and not trusting me to speak. I was fine with that.

"Good, good. So, Riku, do you have any idea how you might've gotten tuberculosis?" the doctor asked, getting straight to the point. He took a clipboard out of the hiker's pack he was carrying and began scribbling on it. Namine gave me a look, which meant she'd let me answer this one.

"No. Well, I went to a funeral a few days ago, but…"

"And right after you came back, did the symptoms start?"

"Yeah."

"That must've been it, then. Can you stand up?" The doctor's cordialness was started to get on my nerves.

"Of _course _I can bloody well stand up…" I muttered sourly… Right before my knees collapsed and I fell on the floor. The doctor made a few quick notes and muttered to himself. I felt my face turn red. I don't know what about this guy irked me so, but he was really getting on my last nerve.

I shot Nami a look, and she immediately nodded and helped me back into the chair. It was like she'd read my mind. Not that I minded.

"I'm going to need a blood sample to test if you really have tuberculosis. If you don't, taking the medication may be dangerous."

I shrugged. "Sure. I've been spewing out blood like a murderer's sprinkler." I had no idea where that phrase came from, but I definitely enjoyed the stricken look on the doctor's face.

He took a small clear bottle from his pack and handed it to me. I swished the blood around in my mouth a bit and spit in the cup. Grinning, I handed it back to him.

"That okay?" I asked. I knew I was probably pushing it, but I couldn't care less. The doctor cleared his throat and nodded.

"Yes, yes. That will… suffice." The doctor took the bottle and wiped his hands off as soon as he put it back in the pack.

"Anything else I should be aware of?" he asked. I shrugged.

"I, er… retch blood after I wake up from my dreams. But only if I had a dream. If I didn't, then there's nothing but fatigue."

He made another note on his clipboard and made to leave the kitchen. Suddenly, he turned, as if he forgot something.

"Oh yeah, and it would be best to clean the kitchen with soap and water instead of bleach. And these will stop the blood, but it won't do anything for the weakness." He tossed me a bottle of small pills and left.

"Oh great," Namine muttered. "Clean up."

A little advice: If you ever get TB and can't help spewing blood all over the place, it helps to at least aim at something easy to clean. Such as the sink. Or the garbage can.

I ended up dousing the whole kitchen, not to mention my and Namine's clothes. Against doctor's orders, I brought out the bleach to wash away the smell. Turns out bleach has an even worse smell than dried blood. Fun, eh?

It took a couple of hours, but eventually we scrubbed away all traces of blood except on ourselves. It wasn't like I cared, but I worried if getting my blood on Namine would expose her to TB. I didn't like taking chances. Also, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

When we walked outside to throw out all the stuff we couldn't completely scrub off, I took the water hose and sprayed her.

At first, she jumped (probably because it was so cold out) and made a high-pitched sound. Then she began laughing. She laughed so hard I was afraid she couldn't breathe, and there were happy tears streaming down her face. Her legs got wobbly, and when I rushed over to catch her she pulled me down with her.

The hose went berserk, spraying water so hard I got drenched in a couple of seconds. Soon, I was laughing too. I was cold as hell, but I was laughing.

After a few minutes we ran out of breath to laugh with and just stared contentedly at the sky. The house was blocking the sun, so it didn't shine in our faces, and little puffs of white dotted the sky everywhere. I'd thought I was in total bliss then, but it increased impossibly when Namine clasped my hand in hers.

Eventually, the cold was too much, and we were forced to go inside. But she never let go of my hand.

"Namine," I started, wiping the kitchen floor where we'd dripped water when we first came in. We'd both dried up and were now wearing robes over our wet clothes.

"Hmm?" she asked softly. She was running her hands through my hair, gently pulling at the tangles.

"What are we gonna do?"

"What do you mean?"

"About this whole situation. With you and me and Roxas." I stopped wiping and sat on my hunches, looking up at her. She was staring into space above my head.

"Do we have to do anything?" she mused. She swept her hands from my hair to my face and caressed my skin.

"I think so. After all, you can't just lie to him. Unless…"

"Unless what?"

"Unless this won't last."

She froze at that statement. Her fragile, warm hands flittered to a stop on my cheekbone. She didn't say anything for a while; she just stared into space, eyes blank. Every second that was accounted for by the tick-tock of the kitchen clock added mounting pressure to the atmosphere. I began to feel like I was suffocating.

"Namine?" I whispered, fearing the worst. She took a deep breath.

"Riku, I… I don't know what to do. I can't lie to Roxas but I love you. And I can't dump Roxas because…" She bit her lip.

"Because why?" I prompted.

"Because I'm afraid."

This shocked me. After she'd gotten used to the outside world again, she seemed pretty fearless. Now she was admitting it?

"Why?" I asked, thinking the worst. Of course, I was wrong.

"No real reason, actually, just this feeling I get when I'm around him and we're alone. Some dangerous vibe he emits. I really don't know what to make of it."

I frowned, took her hand, and kissed it.

"Nami, I have something to tell you." _This is it, _I thought. _Time to expose Roxas. If she's afraid on solely instincts, isn't it proof enough that my dreams were real?_

But the look on her sweet face was so vulnerable and scared. It was as if she was still the same girl I'd found when I came barging on her doorstep so long ago…

"What is it, Riku?" She tilted her head to the side in mute curiosity. A small smile played at her lips as her ocean eyes cast their glorious gaze to me.

And I just couldn't do it.

"I love you," I said instead, meaning every bit of it. A small part of my mind was nagging at me for avoiding the topic, but I might as well let her known of something just as important.

For a second I was actually afraid of what she would say back, if she would get a horrified look on her face and push me away. But it never came.

She just smiled at me and said,

"I love you too."

This brought a huge, beaming smile to my face as I sat up and cupped her face between my hands lightly. I was about to plant another sweet kiss on her face when…

"What the hell is going on in here?"

**A/N: So sorry to stop writing this for so long. Two months? Anyway, I really love where this is going. Climax coming soon! **

**I just got a block 'cause I'd added an extra element, but today I was like "Hell, too soap-opera-y" so I changed it. I hope you still like it.**


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